Leave me behind
by Flowing lantern
Summary: Elena and Stefan are teenagers, who lead two completely different lives-she's a regular high school nerdy girl and he's a boy with a secret that requires great responsibility. Unlikely circumstances bring them together one night and they're both left with the wrong impression about the other. Will that change?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, guys! This is a new SE story that I've been writing for a while. I know it's a bit unclear now in the beginning, but later on you'll see what happens after the events that take place in this chapter and how things between them both evolve. I would very much appreciate your reviews and opinions on it. **

**Elena's POV**

I was observing my best friend Caroline, dancing recklessly with this new guy Tyler, worrying about her, wondering if he's good for her or not in the first place, not that it mattered much-Caroline constantly changed boyfriends. I give those two, who are so drunk and can't spell their names right, no more than a month and a half. That's enough for Caroline to get sick of him and to just dump him or offer him to one of the other precious "friends" she had at the school committee. I hated this party-I wasn't supposed to be here at all and the thought of me cuddling in bed and reading the book I've just started or spending some time with dad at the hospital, instead I was here, watching half the high school get drunk and Matt trying to make me pay some attention to him. Caroline promised me she'll talk to him and explain I'm not into him, but I guess she either forgot due to her awful schedule or she was unsuccessful-something, which she never let happen.

I don't know why it was like this, but I never enjoyed those gatherings or parties. I was supposed to be young, reckless, dance my way on the floor like my best friend was doing right now, but I wasn't-I craved for other things, like books, tea and dissecting animals, even though that last part sounds kind of gross. I was a quiet person, who preferred to stay at home and watch an entire season of some show instead of coming here with her best friends and do underage drinking. I couldn't figure out how was I so different from everyone else-after all we were all from the founding families, we had enormous houses we couldn't figure how to use, made those annual gatherings or balls and claimed to be something more when in reality, we weren't and I was okay with that. I was used to this good life we were all having-I had everything I could ever ask for-my family, my reckless young brother, who liked to smoke pot and I had to cover for him every now and then, an awesomely big house and friends, who were there for me even when things weren't so bright. There wasn't anything I could ask for, but there wasn't much to entertain me either, well except for books and interesting cases of people who my father was treating.

"Elena, do you want another drink?" Matt shoved a red cup of beer right under my nose as he sat back on the couch. He smelled like alcohol and he surely had more than one cup to drink, which honestly disgusted me right now. I couldn't figure out why this guy was so bend on making me date him. We've tried this once already and he screwed up-he's not going to be a good boyfriend to any girl, not any time soon at least.

He was a spoiled brat, who liked to sleep and fool around with girls and if I followed any logic, he's still mad he never got the chance to do so with me, which is why he's currently so bend on swooping me in his embrace. I wasn't a pathetic stupid girl though-I wouldn't just let him get me drunk and get me upstairs, there was so much more than life and being young that any of those people here even supposed and that's what drove me insane. I shoved Matt away from me and went by Care's side to tell her goodbye. I couldn't find her though, she was no longer on the improvised dance floor at this house, which I had no idea who owned so I headed to the kitchen and found her and Tyler passionately making out on the kitchen plot. I rolled my eyes and just as I was about to leave she looked in my direction and without forcing her to break the kiss with Tyler, I gave her a gesture that I'm leaving and before she could protest, hurried to get out of this awfully noisy place.

It was almost midnight and I sighed, disappointed at the fact that the last episode of my favorite TV show marathon is almost over. I could still make some pop corns and watch something-surprisingly I wasn't sleepy or tired at all this night. I just needed some quite place where I could clear my thoughts after this jungle I was currently in. I let a deep breath in, once I got outside and realized it was getting a bit colder. Dad was right when he said I should get my jacket, but I was too stubborn as usually to listen to him or mom.

They always said I was so quietly stubborn that when I was a kid it scared them-they would tell me to do something, I would agree and then I would go and make the exact opposite of what I'm told. I loved my parents, I really did and surprisingly, I was much more close to my dad than to my mom. It's not that I didn't love her-I did, she'll always have a special place in my heart and there'll always be things I could share only with her, but she worked a lot and she had to travel most of the time whilst dad was always home. Well, okay, not always since he was a doctor and had awfully long shifts, but ever since I was a little girl, I've been spending so much more time with him than with mom. He always took me to the hospital, the nurses knew me from when I was a four-year-old troublesome kid and they knew me now, when I was helping him and he was teaching me stuff, so I could be a real doctor one day, just like him.

As I finally approached my car, I felt like something's not quite right. I saw someone moving on the other side, near the driver's door and for a moment, I felt scared. I figured it could be Caroline maybe coming to get something she forgot since we drove here with my dad's SUV, but I would've seen her coming out of the house, right? Or maybe she has used the back door and I never noticed her coming this way? I stopped abruptly and lowered myself before trying to figure out what's this all about. I heard noises, as if someone was trying to make the engine start and I slowly leaned on the trunk before peaking and taking a good look. Once I did, I realized the door was opened and the only other visible thing was someone's legs sticking up from somewhere below the seat.

_Someone was trying to steal my car._

I hid myself behind the truck again and took a deep breath, trying to figure out what to do, as I cursed Caroline for making us come to this part of town. Now wasn't the time for this however, I had to come up with a plan-maybe I should just surprise him and pull him away from there. I was a tough girl, I trained hard, I could kick him in the private parts and make him whine like a baby. But then again he could be armed. Could he be? I had a pepper spray in my bag somewhere, but it was on the backseat. Okay, I'll just try to spook him and he'll probably run and if he doesn't, I'll try to protect myself the best I could.

I carefully stepped away from my hiding spot and slipped my back on the door, praying that he wouldn't hear me as he was still obviously too concerned about how to make this car start and get away from here. Once I was close enough, I leaned down and grabbed his arm tightly.

"Move away" I hissed, trying to sound scary, when in fact I was beginning to judge my actions-maybe I should've just called Sheriff Forbes and wait for her to come and get this guy to the police station.

For a moment both of us froze-I figured he was scared as well. Someone got him at the crime scene. I couldn't see his face at all, he still wasn't making any more, but he was wearing a black hoodie and a hat so I couldn't even determine what color his hair was.

"I said move away." now my voice sounded a bit more confident and he slowly stood up and started stepping back. Just as I was about to take a better look at his face, he abruptly pulled himself away from me and started running away. "Hey! HEY!" okay that wasn't in my plans, I wanted to catch this guy, not let him slip away and now he was running!

"Really?" I sighed as I slammed the door and ran after him. Thanks God I've been running lately, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get anywhere near him. He was fast and definitely strong-when I touched his arms, I felt the tight muscles under the fabric and even though I was a silent nerdy girl, I still preferred to keep myself in shape, exactly because of situations like this.

"Stop!" I kept yelling at him, but he pretended not to hear me.

Just as we were about to make a right turn, he slipped as he was going too fast and he lost his balance, which was enough to allow me and push him on the ground almost without any effort. When the light from the street lamp finally gave me the opportunity to take a better look at him, I realized he was just a boy, probably my age. There was a bandana covering the better half of his face and the hat was hiding his hair, but I managed to see that it was blond. There was something in his eyes though-something so wrecked and yet scared. He never planned for me to catch him-he was just hoping to get away with it and now I was here staring at him, catching him off guard.

A boy who got caught by a girl. For a moment we stared at each other, he raised himself on his elbows, I noticed he has bruised his right hand, there was blood coming from it, but he still didn't dare move and I didn't know what to do.

Something in his stare just stunned me, the fact that he was just a teenager like me shocked me-I thought it would be someone older. Why was he even doing this? I watched him carefully raise up and I thought he would run so I yelled again

"Don't move!" there wasn't anything I could threaten him with and he seemed like he wasn't armed as well-we were currently staying here, both too scared to do anything and we were in this middle ground when we were both trying to realize what exactly was going on.

He was afraid to speak up, I'm guessing because once I hear his voice, I would recognize him later on if he manages to escape and yet he wasn't running away, not right now.

"What did you steal from me?" I thought that he surely must've checked my bag, before deciding that he'll have enough time to steal the car. He raised his hands, obviously trying to show me that he won't do anything to hurt me. I was able to take a better look at his eyes-they were green, but that wasn't the worst part. He was full of regret. I could see it-he might be doing something wrong, but he probably wasn't doing it because he enjoyed robbing people-he seemed like a person who didn't have much of a choice. Maybe someone was making him do this? Maybe he needed money? Whatever it was, I suddenly found myself feeling bad for him, however that didn't stop me from stretching my free hand in order grab his wrist. He was fast, however and stepped away, only so he could turn his back and start running.

I didn't follow him. I didn't feel the need to do so-yes, he was a thief and he was about to steal my car, but there was something so..sad and wrong with him, that I didn't have the heart to call the police. He didn't try even once to hurt me, even though he could-he was stronger than me, this whole situation could've ended with me on the ground hurt or pushed to a wall and left somewhere to bleed out, but he didn't even touch me.

I stood in the street, watching in the direction where he has disappeared. Only now did I realize I was slightly shaking, this time it wasn't from the cold, but from what's just happened. Even though he hasn't touched me, I was still spooked.

It was time to go back home.

**Stefan's POV**

I ran back home and took away my hat and my black hoodie, so that Damon doesn't suspect anything.

I never really expected for this girl to come out of nowhere-who even leaves a party that is at its peak to go back home? I was glad she didn't call the police, or at least not while I was still there with her. She might do it later, but I knew I was safe now back home. I sighed and brushed away the sweat from my forehead. I should've never done this in the first place. Damon was right to warn me not to do stupid things anymore, but I needed the money and I was sure this car could solve all my problems. However, I'm glad nothing happened-this wasn't the honest way to get what I needed, I knew it and yet I've attempted to commit a crime and get away with it. Now I was hoping Damon wouldn't suspect anything, cause he'll be extremely mad at me.

I tossed my clothes on this wrecked chair on the front porch, where Damon liked to drink his coffee in the morning and slowly opened the door, praying not to wake him or the baby.

However, when I heard the noise coming from the kitchen, I knew there was no point in pretending anymore-they weren't asleep. I went to the bathroom first, cleaning up my hand from the blood and my face from the dirt. When this girl pushed me back my face ended up on the pavement-I admit, she had some fire in her-I can't remember the last time I saw a girl stood up for herself.

Well except for Lexi, my best friend, but she was a different kind of girl. I'm guessing she and this brown-haired beauty would make a good team if they knew each other-they were both very willing to kick my ass and were about to succeed in doing so. I was just hoping she wouldn't call the police or file a complaint so they would start looking for me. That's the last thing I wanted-I had so much trouble in my hands.

I brushed my wet face with the towel and headed to the kitchen. The baby was crying and Damon was unable to calm him down, which made me smile and shake my head. Once I finally stepped in the room, I found him rocking the little five-months-old boy in his right arm while trying to push the milk bottle in his mouth, though the kid was putting up a fight. When he saw me he gave me an extremely angry expression and I swallowed hard.

"Where the hell have you been, brother?" he almost yelled and the baby's cry increased "I can't deal with him in the middle of the night, I have to sleep!" I knew it.

He had to get to work early in the morning and he needed rest-right now he looked like he's got right out of bed with his messy dark raven hair, white tank top and grey sweatpants-he seemed like he hasn't got any sleep in a week, which wasn't far away from the truth. I hated doing this to him-he didn't deserve this life and he was paying for mistakes that I've made.

"I'm so sorry, Damon" I apologized and came by his side to take the child in my arms. He immediately calmed down once he ended up in my warm embrace and Damon handed me the milk, so I would start feeding him "I had something to do."

"Your shift must've ended three hours ago." he gave me a questioning look. He didn't believe me and he was getting worried all over again, that I might be getting myself into trouble "You should've come straight home."

"I know, but Lexi said she'll pass by and give you a hand with him, so I figured, I should use the time and deal with something." I explained, as I continued rocking the baby in my arms

"She did" he mumbled angrily as he went by the drawer, where we kept the bourbon and got the bottle out. I furrowed my eyebrows-he was drinking quite too much lately and I had to start doing something about it. Any time I tried scolding him that he's drinking too much, however, he said it's his own damn life and said I had no right to judge him, not when he had in mind that I'm seventeen, not going to school and with a child on my hands. "She put him to bed, but he woke up and started crying the hell out of himself."

"I'm sorry, brother" I said sadly as I watched him pour himself a glass from the bottle. He leaned on the kitchen plot and rubbed his forehead with his rough from working endless shifts, hand. "He must've been hungry."

"He's the same as you when you were a baby" he exclaimed quite angrily. He could be very cranky when he hasn't slept, but I knew deep down he felt bad for us. After all, he was the one to be there for me when I most needed it-he took me back in here, me and the baby in my hands and even though he was constantly grumpy and made me regret every decision in my life, he would never refuse to help me. He was my brother-I was there for him and he was there for me.

"Well then he's his father's son." I said with a tired smile and watched Damon finish his glass and come by my side watching in awe the peaceful way in which the baby was drinking up his milk bottle

"I'll never figure out how you calm him down, brother" he almost whispered and leaned down to give a small kiss on the baby's forehead "Please don't wake me up again, Joe." he begged and I almost laughed at my brother's plead, which made him furrow his eyebrows angrily before heading off the kitchen.

I looked down at my son, who got my blond hair and green eyes-Damon said he was an exact copy of me when he first saw him. I wasn't so sure, I thought there was something from his mother's face in him as well, but I guess he was just too little for us to notice it or we were trying too hard to forget about her that we refused to see any signs of her in the child.

I sighed, thinking about everything I've been through for my seventeen years.

Damon once told me in this exact same kitchen that he never thought, I would be the one to have a child first. I didn't know it would happen either.

The thought of Rebekah and the way she broke both my heart and the one of the child in my hands, was making it hard for me to breathe. I guess, I should've listened to Damon when he said she's not the right girl for me, but I was too blinded by our love.

She was a nice girl, adventurous, careless, free. At the time I was very reckless myself-I was trying to find my place in this world, just after my brother finally got us out our eternal misery circle. We were both orphans-our mother gave us up when he was six and I was just a baby. He remembers her very well, after all he has spent time with her, on the other hand, I had a very vague image of her and never knew why she decided to give her kids away.

Damon said it was because she couldn't support us, our father has died and she couldn't deal with two kids-I'm guessing my big brother was blaming me for her giving us up in the first place, but he's doing a good job covering it.

We spent our lives in group homes or foster families until he turned eighteen, got himself a job and became my guardian-there was finally something good out there for us, we could live our lives without wondering how we'll run away away from this awful family or that damp group home-we had our own place now and Damon was working to support us, while I found a part-time job.

It was all fine until I met her and I completely lost my mind.

At first she was this nice and dangerous girl, who made my legs weaken every time I saw her. It wasn't hard to get close to her-she had a reputation of changing her lovers every now and then, but I wanted more than just to sleep with her. I wanted to be her boyfriend and surprisingly she fell for me-hard. Just as I had.

We had many ups and downs, especially in the beginning-she was pushing herself away from me and just as I've thought nothing would come out of this relationship, she would come and knock at my door in the middle of the night-drunk and crying about how she was sorry she acted this way and that she truly loved me, but it was hard for her to accept it and show it. She was scared of someone hurting her, which is why she never remained with one guy for long. Almost two years passed like this-us arguing, recklessly loving each other, splitting and coming back together-it was a real nightmare. She had a drinking problem-an awful drinking problem, nothing like Damon's bourbon midnight drinks and I was having a hard time making her stop-she would go to parties and make out with other guys, which made me extremely jealous and got me into more troubles than I was already into.

Then one night she came by my house and said we had to talk-she said she was almost two months pregnant and it was mine. I was shocked, couldn't figure out what to do, but I told her I won't leave her alone, no matter what. However, she said she doesn't intent to take care of the child and that she'll give it away when it's born.

Her mother, who was living abroad, has arranged for her to move away once she gives birth, so she had it all figured out, but she felt the need to tell me as she thought I should know. She was extremely drunk that night, which I'm guessing is what pushed her to come to my house in the first place. I remember her barely standing on her feet, so I had to take her in and put her down. I had no idea what to do that night, I was so confused, worried and I felt like I have no say in this at all-Rebekah was giving the baby away and I didn't want for this to happen. Both Damon and me have sworn to each other that no matter how hard our lives are, we would never let go of each other, so I was sure he would back me up if I told him I want to keep the child with me. I couldn't leave this innocent baby somewhere just like my mother left us-I wouldn't allow it for the world.

So in the next months Bekah and me kept arguing about it. She was somehow so bend on the idea of giving the child away that there was hardly anything I could do to convince her to just let it be. That wasn't the worst thing though-I had to spent all those months preventing her from drinking herself to oblivion, which was very hard.

While she was giving birth, though something went wrong-they got her into surgery after Joseph was born and I spent the whole night in the hospital-waiting for them to give me some update on her conditions. I got to hold my little boy for the first time back then and I felt so proud-I was certain, that I won't have the heart to leave him be-I've made the decision that I was taking him home, no matter what Rebekah says.

I never got the chance to tell her I'll be the one to take care of him even if she didn't want to, though-when they come to see me in the morning, they told me they lost her during surgery.

I can't remember the last time I felt so hopeless and sad. The worst thing of all was that there was no one out there for her but me-her mother was abroad and her dad has left them a long time ago-she had brothers somewhere in the south, but I knew she wasn't on speaking terms with them.

In a matter of day I was left with a baby to take home and the love of my life to bury.

Even Damon, who was backing me up at this, reminded me that this whole thing won't be anywhere near easy-he said I'll have to leave school and get some more decent job and someone had to take care of the kid-it wasn't going to be easy at all, but I was stubborn and I said I won't give my son away for anything in the world.

So I took him home-I did what I had to do. I left school, Damon found me a job as a delivery guy and he continued working at this factory that took him in when he was eighteen. My best friend Lexi, who was also my neighbor, kept coming and helping us out-she was a little older than me, almost my brother's age and she was very close to us all, she was practically family and when she figured out what has happened and what decision I've taken, she said she's proud of me and she'll do whatever it takes to help me. It was very hard at the beginning, it's still hard, almost six months later-at first I couldn't make him eat much, he was crying all the time and Damon was constantly pissed off that he can't get enough sleep and has to work, but with time I got used to changing diapers and singing songs so my son could fall asleep

I used to be so desperate that when Damon got home after work he always found me recklessly getting myself drunk on the exact same kitchen table I was staring at now. The baby was crying in his crib and I was burying my hands in my messy hair-she might've been so awful to me all this time, but I loved her and losing her, hurt like hell.

I felt alone. Just like my son, who lost his mother before ever getting the chance to meet her. maybe it was for the better, my brother said, she wasn't cut out to be a mother. She was willing to give him away and I've stepped up and became a father at the age of seventeen-life was messed up and for the first time I felt scared-terrified even, that I won't be able to raise this kid.

What was I thinking-I was a child myself. I didn't have a very stable job and I wasn't about to get any education-how was I going to raise a baby? Moreover-on my own! Every child needed a mother and mine just lost his, I wasn't cut out for this thing. Back then, I was trying to convince myself that I have to give him up-I wasn't the only one sacrificing my life here, my brother was doing the same, only because of us.

And yet, despite everything, he was the one to convince me not to do so-he said he's not going to let me do this, not after everything we've been through together. He didn't want this kid to have the same fate as we did-so he said we'll fight as hard as we have to, but we'll make this work. And he warned me that he'll whine and he'll be a pain in the ass, but he'll be here and he won't allow his nephew to go in the system.

So here we were-me and my little Joseph in the middle of the night, together at this lonely house. I could already hear my brother snoring in the other room and it made me smile. He finally finished his bottle and I put it away, so I could start trying to make him fall asleep while his stomach was still full and he was willing to give in easily.

"How's my little boy doing today, huh?" I asked and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He looked up at me and mumbled something in his baby language.

I liked talking to him, even though he couldn't understand or answer me. Lexi said it's important to talk to the babies. Damon always denied her theory and said that's nothing but a load of crap, but once I caught him telling Joe a fairy tale before putting him down in his crib.

My brother had a big heart, though he was trying very much not to show it-he always had to appear as this strong person, who took care of me all my life and who always had a solution to our problems, even when he was completely lost himself

"Don't you want to sleep? Aren't you tired?" I kept asking him and Joe only stick his little hand in his mouth and looked me up with his big eyes. I sighed-he wasn't going to fall as fast as I thought. "Come on, Joe" I whispered and stood up only so I could start walking up and down the kitchen. He usually fell asleep when I did this, just as when he did when I took him out for a walk outside with the pram. I never took a smile off my face while I was staring at him-he was my whole world, my little boy and I would do whatever it takes to keep him safe and sound and to get him everything he needs, no matter what I lose in the process-I'll work my ass off for him.

What I tried to do tonight was selfish and stupid-it wasn't fair and it's not who I was. Yes, me and Damon, we've done this when we were kids, running away from groups and foster homes, but that's not the guy I was right now. I had to be responsible, for my son, for Damon who was doing his best and I hoped that this girl wouldn't attempt to do anything that could prevent me from being together with my boy.

He fell asleep after half an hour or so of relentlessly turning himself right and left in his crib-he was growing more with each day. He was about to turn six months in a week and I smiled at the thought of how wrecked and confused I was when I first came home with him-I had no idea how to even dress him and now I was feeding him and putting him to bed.

"There'll come a day when you and I will be running in this backyard, playing football together, son." I whispered as I watched him close his eyes "And your uncle will be grunting from the porch as usually, saying we're fooling around, doing nothing and scolding me for not teaching you how to throw the ball right." I tugged him with the blanket

"But you'll be laughing and trying to get away from me and I'll be happy, just as I am right now." I stood up and gave him a kiss on the forehead as my brother did not so long ago" I love you, my son. "

I tiredly rubbed my eyes and went to Damon's room to get a blanket, trying very hard not to wake him up-he was too tired anyway, so he never realized I came in. Then I got back and lay down on the kitchen couch next to Joe's crib. I never left him alone at night. Damon said I should just go back to my room, but I couldn't. I was afraid he'll wake up and cry and none of us will hear him as we would be too tired and I would never let that happen, not to my son.

I tossed the blanket all over me, feeling tied like hell. I couldn't fall asleep right away, though-I kept thinking about the girl, who caught me and how determined she was at first to make me pay for attempting to steal her car. Something changed in her look later though and she convinced herself she should let me go-I don't know what it was, but I was glad it happened, otherwise who knows where I would've been right now. I hoped, I'll never get to see her again, though there's no way she could possibly recognize my face. It was enough for me to recognize hers, though-I was already feeling guilty for even attempting to do this. I knew why I decided to go with it-because I was desperate. I just had no other choice-I was pressed to the wall.

I fell asleep an hour later, still torturing myself with thoughts about what happened last night, ashamed of myself, feeling as if I've betrayed my own son and my brother.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lexi's POV**

I opened the backdoor of the Salvatore brother's house, which led me straight to the kitchen. I forgot, that I should be more careful as Stefan was still probably sleeping, but when the door slammed back from the wind outside, I realized how stupid I was. Stefan was lying on the couch, little Joe in his arms, sleeping peacefully, unlike his father.

I smiled, I've known Stefan ever since he and his brother moved in this house-I was still in high school back then and he was this reckless careless kid, who fell in love with the wrong person and that led to his life getting ruined.

Stefan never complained though, even after everything that happened and even after he admitted I and his brother were right about Rebekah all this time. I remember very vividly how we sat in this exact same kitchen and he was so hopeless, his hands buried in his hair, just after he has brought Joe home-he hasn't slept in days, he was just so concerned about the baby-both enthusiastic and scared and there wasn't anything me or Damon could do to calm him down.

After everything, he still remained the strongest among the three of us. I knew how hard it would be for two guys to take care of a baby, that's why I was trying to do my best and come babysit this little guy, who was so peacefully lying in his father's arms.

At the beginning I had no idea how Stefan would manage to deal with it, but he did and he proved me and his brother wrong. I admit that we might have got his back, but we were full of doubts when it came to Stefan raising his child-he knew it, he admitted he could see it in our eyes, but he said it didn't bother him-at the end of the day everything he does is for the kid and all his efforts won't go in vain, because he was going to raise this motherless child even if the whole world was against him.

And he was doing an awesome job up until now, that's for sure.

In the beginning he was very funny, he made me smile so much, especially when he came to our house so me and my mom would show him how to put diapers, wash him, calm him down, all those little things-we really laughed our asses out back then and Stefan laughed with us, but at the end of the day, when he would leave and go back to his house all alone or when I would leave him after I've been there for hours, all I felt is sadness, deep sadness that was always present everywhere around this house-I felt bad for my best friend. He was a child himself, nothing but a teenager, yet for the past year he grew up more than me in my whole life and I was older than him.

I was stunned, once I realized what a wonderful father he was. He carried many responsibilities on his shoulders and it was sad to see the everyday routine bend his posture little by little with every passing day. He was supposed to be at school, thinking about a future-instead he was here with a little baby on his hands, working his ass off so they could have everything Joe needed. There were evenings when I've come by to see them after work, only to find their fridge completely empty and both he and Damon would claim they've already had something to eat outside, but I knew they didn't so I invited them home and cooked something for us all. Later on, as months started passing by, I stopped even asking them-I either brought them something or went outside to do the groceries-they were both men, they didn't have time for those stuff, especially with Damon and his extra shifts and Stefan barely finding time to get a shower or sleep.

I watched Stefan give me one of his crooked tired smiles as he realized I was the one to wake him up and I responded with an apologizing look as I approached him.

"How are my boys doing today?" I whispered as he stood up and headed to Joe's crib, which was my brother's old one-they didn't have anything when they brought the little guy home. Half the stuff came from our house or Damon's friends, who didn't need baby stuff anymore

"We're fine" he responded tiredly and started making himself coffee. Damon found him a job which involved delivering stuff all over town and outside it.

There were nights he was so late that he came home after midnight with his eyes barely opened. Damon always said he should get more rest, because he doesn't want him falling asleep while driving. Honestly, sometimes when I looked at him, I got concerned as well and when he was outside town and had to come back all the way home, he called me because he needed to talk to someone so he wouldn't fall asleep.

"Thanks for coming" he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, just as my brother once did. I felt very close to the Salvatores, they were a great part of my life and in the past few years we've been through much, but we were always together, no matter what.

I nodded and helped him prepare the milk for Joe while he was making the coffee

"Wanna tell me where you were last night? I came by and Damon was a pain in the ass, because he hasn't slept at all." I saw him swallow hard and look away, which is when I knew he was hiding something, so when he took too long to respond, I grabbed his wrist and made him look at me. He let the cup he was holding down and turned around, so he would lean on the plot. "What is wrong, Stefan?"

He rubbed his forehead with his fingers before speaking up, he was nervous, worried. Something wasn't right.

"You know I owe money to John Avery" I swallowed hard. John Avery, he was a person everyone in this neighborhood knew. He was a bit of a gangster with style, which made him even more dangerous-he was an underground person, who owned a garage, which wasn't exactly a garage, but more of a place where the greatest scumbags sold stolen cars and he paid them for it. If you had a problem, he could solve it by giving you money or making you work for him-Stefan needed money before Joseph was born, I knew he went there and asked for a loan and now obviously the time to pay it back has come.

"You told me you gave back half of it already" I said half confused, half hopeful that things might not be as bad if he has already dealt with that

"I did" he nodded and I sighed relived "But I still need to give the other half. One of his guys was waiting for me in front of the office after work, said I should pay the rest of it back. I told him, I don't have that kind of money right now and he said I could pay in cash or steal a car and just give it to them, didn't matter." he sighed tiredly as he took a sip of his coffee. I remember when he told me how he went there and asked for a loan. It was a little before Rebekah gave birth-she was having troubles and he took her to the doctor numerous times because she was in pain.

Damon and he also had to pay the last installment for the house so a better half of those money was used for that. Rebekah was a whining piece of garbage back then and none of her parents wanted to pay for the hospital bills so Stefan did that as well. And now he was the one with a kid on his hands and a job, which couldn't bring him this kind of money for such a short time

"Don't tell me you went to steal a car." I raised my voice a little, forgetting that I might actually wake Joe. I was angry-I didn't want him to do something stupid and get himself in jail or something of the sort. My fears became true when he looked away ashamed and refused to give me any logical explanation "Jesus Christ, Stefan, are you out of your mind! Someone could've caught you!"

"They actually did." he whispered barely audible as he started looking for a clean shirt in the pile of ironed clothes on the chair next to Joe's crib

"What?" I raised my voice even more and regretted it the minute he threw me an angry look and nodded towards the peacefully sleeping Joe "How are you even here if someone caught you? Did you go to the sheriff, did Damon bail you already?"

"No, nothing of the sort. Some girl caught me, but she let me run away. I'm guessing, I looked too desperate even for a rich girl with no heart" he said it as if he was announcing the weather, no trace of fear in his voice, no worry. He considered himself a lucky man and he was giving me his sweet puppy smile, trying to make me somehow more benevolent and not yell at him.

"Are you out of your freaking mind?" I said and even though it wasn't that loud Joe stirred in his crib and Stefan sighed annoyingly as he went by his son's side, so he would take him in his arms. He started talking to him as he gave him a sweet kiss on the forehead and the kid hugged himself in his father's embrace-he was extremely silent as he was still very sleepy, but I knew in a minute, he would be crying his lungs out, desperate to get his bottle as he would be hungry. I didn't really care about this now, I had bigger problems on my head

"Stefan, do you realize what could've happened! You might not even be here right now! How could you be so reckless? What if this girl files a complaint or goes to the police with some description?"

"Oh, relax already, she didn't see my face."

"Stefan, don't act as if it was nothing! You could've left this boy without a father and by some fortunate coincidence you didn't!" I continued to scold him in the same manner and saw him regretting his choice to tell me what has happened in the first place. Joe started crying in his hands and I handed him the bottle while sighing tiredly. He still refused to look me in the eyes, instead he was staring at his son, making him funny faces while the kid hungrily started destroying the bottle

"Look, Lexi, I know what I did was wrong, but I was desperate. You know what this guy is capable of, he won't just leave things like this. He might let me prolong it and all, because he obviously has other problems right now, but after a month or so he'll come again and I still won't have what he needs."

"We have to figure something out." I started again stubbornly. I wasn't going to let him give up on this and get himself in jail over nothing "You need to tell Damon." he started shaking his head the minute I mentioned his brother

"No way" he opposed, now raising his own voice "He has enough on his plate and he'll get angry, I don't need him breathing in my neck right now. I'll deal with it on my own."

"And how exactly will you deal with it when you can't make enough to buy the basic things that you need!" okay, I was a little mean with this one, I knew they were doing their best and me trying to rub it in his nose that he wasn't enough was the wrong thing. I just felt the need to bring him back to earth. "You're not invincible, you can't expect to do things and get away with them, Stefan. You're an adult now, you're taking care of a child!"

"Don't you think I know that, Lexi!" he suddenly got mad and Joe stopped eating only to look up at his father confused and with a sad expression "You saw me go through hell and you say those stuff like I haven't done a single thing!"

"That's not what I meant, you misunderstood me" I started apologizing

"I didn't, but that's not important. You are right-we're barely holding up, but we're doing it and I won't ever give up on this child like our mother gave up on us!"

"I know that, but you are close to getting yourself hurt or killed in the process and that's what I want to prevent." he sighed once he realized I'm trying just to help him. However, Joe was crying already so he removed the bottle away and tried to calm him down, unsuccessfully probably because he was too busy burying himself in his own thoughts that he forgot to talk to kid and I knew his voice calmed him most of the times. I stretched my hands, so he could hand him to me and after a few minutes the boy relaxed while I kept observing Stefan nervously running his hands through his hair and drinking up the rest of his coffee "I'm just worried, Stefan." I said barely audible now, but he heard me nonetheless.

He nodded without continuing the conversation, he was too lost in his own mind and I offered to make him a breakfast but her refused, saying he had to go to work before he's too late. He wanted to finish with all the deliveries as fast as he could so he could come back home.

He kissed Joe goodbye and left without saying anything else-I could see he was too worried. He had no idea how he would deal with this-there wasn't anywhere he could get the money from. He had to come up with it all by himself and even if he or I told Damon there wasn't much he could do either. I wasn't about to start a fight between them though-if Stefan wanted to share those stuff with him he would. And if I see he takes too much time, I'll have to intervene, but I'll give him some space first, I could see he had a hard time trying to deal with it all-his whole life was one enormous mess, in which he had to take care of his son and work and help Damon pay the bills. He wasn't even going to school and even though I fought with him about that a lot, he kept saying that he has to take care of his son and no one else could do it. He didn't have money for food and clothes, let alone for hiring a nanny.

Me and Joe watched him leave-he turned a few times and waved at us before getting in the car. Joe started crying a little after that and I had a hard time calming him down-I'm guessing he already missed his father.

**Stefan's POV**

I drove by the office where they gave me the packages I had to deliver-thanks god today it was all like letters and small stuff, not the usual big card boxes full of furniture or all sorts of things-when we had such stuff I usually wasn't alone, but with one of the other boys. Not that I had something against them, but I preferred to be alone, to drive by myself-it helped me clear my mind and try to figure stuff out.

I jumped in and drove away-I had to go to the other side of town and it was going to take me a while. The town has grown so much from when I was a child-there were factories, firms, even a small mall-it was nothing like the little peaceful place I grew up in-at some point, around my tenth birthday things started changing- by that time Damon and me were at a foster home outside town and we didn't have much opportunity to leave it, but when we finally did and they brought us here, it was nothing like what I remembered. I held Damon's hand as he helped me go through the crowd in the main street-we felt so different. Even he, who wasn't getting easily impressed, remained silent, watching everything around us carefully, observing it with curiosity.

I smiled at the memory of me and my brother all by ourselves in this confusing reality-not that now it was any different, well except that Joe was with us and Lexi was practically part of the family. We were still lost, confused and struggling with so many things-I had no hope this eternal cycle would ever end. But I wasn't complaining, because it all had a meaning-I was doing it for my child, who already lost his mother. I had no plans of letting him lose anything else in this life. Not until I am alive at least.

When I finally got to the address, I had to stop in front of a white house with blue-painted windows, the typical fence and a big porch, with lovely chairs on it-only that part of the house was twice the size of my room and I was planning to turn it into a nursery-what a joke! I looked out for the package and in my hands it felt like some cloth-probably some rich girl has ordered a dress or a nice new skirt.

I rang on the door and stared down at my list while waiting for someone to open-I could hear noises coming from inside and sighed relived-there were times when I would have to wait for at least fifteen minutes until someone even heard me knocking and I lost so much time-time I could spent with my child if I got back early.

When someone opened up I was still staring down at the documents they've given me.

"I'm looking for Elena Gilbert?" I spoke up before looking up and when I finally did, I was shocked.

I recognized the brown-haired skinny girl from last night immediately. She was the one who caught me while I was stealing the car-now she was smiling right in my direction with a very sleepy expression on her face and her PJs still on. I took a step back without even realizing it at first and she gave me a suspicious look.

There was no way she could remember me right?

I mean..I had covered my face pretty good and it was dark, so what I needed now was to just give her the package and leave this place as fast as I could. I looked around-their house was enormous and I wondered how come I didn't see the car parked in front of it somewhere. I might've been just too distracted and I was in no position to turn around and start staring, not now when she was wondering what the hell was going on. For a few minutes we stood like this, just staring at each other and she obviously got annoyed with me and sighed heavily.

"You wanna give me that or not?" she asked and looked back at the package in my hand. I managed to get myself together quite fast and even furrowed my eyebrows a bit trying to look serious and even grumpy in order to clear any suspicion. I stretched my hand and when I gave her the package she stared down at the bruise I got when I fell last night. She obviously remembered something, because she looked back up at me and in that moment, I saw the realization in her eyes-she knew who I was.

She remembered me.

I tried to play it cool though and handed her the list where she was supposed to sign, but she kept her eyes on me and didn't make a single move.

"You." she simply said and I felt myself panic yet again.

"Me what?" I said quite serious, trying to play confused as I arched my eyebrow and cleared my throat. She kept staring at me though and I pushed the list back at her chest, quite roughly

"Can you sign that already?" I continued playing cool, even though she has figured it all out and was obviously wondering what to do now. I could hear other people's voices from the inside and she seemed like just another high school sweetheart, a rich one even, which was worse, cause she could rat me out any minute now. I was feeling pressed to the wall, but I still had some hope that I'll manage to fool her and get away with it, even though I felt the desperation crawling up inside me.

I couldn't believe my fate-of all the houses I had to go to today, hers has to be the first one on the list.

"You were there last night" she started again as she was obviously very lost in her own thoughts, remembering everything that happened. I wondered why she hadn't filed a complaint or something at the police-or then again she might have done so, but if they didn't have a clear description, they wouldn't be able to find me and I would just go in the system as another unknown criminal, who tried to steal something.

I felt ashamed of myself, whatever was going to happen from now on, surely wouldn't be good, I had this awful feeling that something will turn wrong, even if I didn't succeed in stealing that car. She was clearly frustrated with me playing off as if I don't know what she's talking about, then again she must've gotten a better look at me last night, I was after all still wearing the same old jeans and the black sweater I left at the chair in front of our house-I wasn't exactly trying to cover my trails-I was appearing to be the exact same person and she knew it couldn't be a coincidence, not with the bruise on my hand, that's for sure.

"I'm sorry, I really have no idea what you're talking about" I tried again and once more looked down at the paper in her tiny cold hands "You must've mistaken me for someone." for a moment I saw her doubting herself, I was a really good actor after all.

Damon has taught me all about those stuff-we used to steal things from shops all the time-suddenly I felt like a criminal all over again when in reality things were too screwed up for me to find any other way to figure out the situation with the money I owed. Though there was always another way-I just wasn't looking for it I guess.

She looked down at the list and sign it fast, which made me sigh relieved-I thought she has just accepted the fact that she's wrong. Then, just as I turned around and was about to leave I felt her small fragile hand on my arm-she seemed somehow bold, but afraid-she probably thought I would do something to her. I didn't turn around though and in a moment she was right in front of me again, this time or places were switched-I was close to the door and she to the stairs leading out of this damn house.

"You don't have to lie" she said somehow confidently "I remember good, even if it was dark. You fell and hurt your hand" she looked down and I stared down at my feet feeling ashamed all over again "You tried to steal my car."

"Yeah, right!" I continued playing and pushed myself away from her only so I could continue going down the stairs, I thought she'll just drop it, but instead I heard her small steps rush down the lane, though she was still behind me

"It was you!" she yelled and I prayed that her parents haven't heard her. I turned around angrily

"So what?" I was suddenly pissed off.

What did she knew of my life anyway?

How could she just start yelling at people like this and blame them-I had a reason, I was struggling and I couldn't think of getting away with this debt in any other way but to steal this car, otherwise I might end up at some gutter with a bloody face and a gunshot.

"What are you going to do, rich girl? You want to rat me out? And what are you going to tell them? That you saw someone trying to steal your car, but didn't and just left instead?" she remained speechless for a moment and just stared at me. She surely didn't expect me to be some kind of bold douche who is playing cool with being involved in something like this. The truth is that I really felt bad, but I had this problem of lashing out at people when they pressed me to the wall. I was usually very calm, but even Damon knew that I had my breaking point and he was one of those who has suffered from it.

I turned around and walked away to the car.

Just as I was driving away, I saw man leaning on the doorframe, looking confused. He must've been her father, because he worriedly joined her while she was staring at me, wondering what the hell she was going to do right now.

I was sincerely hoping she would just let it be. There wasn't anything she could blame me on.

Or so I thought.

**Elena's POV**

I couldn't believe he was such a douche bag.

Last night something in me broke when I saw his eyes-I thought he was just a boy, who was doing this because he had no other choice, but now I was convinced he was some asshole who did those things for fun and made money out of it-he was a criminal and I couldn't just stay here with my hands crossed, waiting for him to rob someone else. He deserved to be punished, he was a bold arrogant idiot, who liked mocking people like me.

If he was good and honest, he should've admitted it and apologized, if he was smart-he would've asked me not to tell anyone and to just forget about it. But the way he treated me, was pissing me off and everyone knew I got kind of scary when I was pissed off. I was a very honest person and my parents have taught me to never tolerate people like this, so that's why I wouldn't do so.

When my father got out of the house and saw that clearly something was wrong, he hugged me in his embrace and asked me what's wrong. I admit for a moment, there was some internal debate about whether or not I should tell him, I don't know why-this guy was a bad person and moreover-he was bold enough to lie he didn't take anything from me-my purse was missing!

I only found out that last night when I came back home and looked everywhere for it-I had everything in there, my IDs, my credit cards and even some money and I was just about to tell my dad when this guy rang on my door. He might be playing cool and innocent, but he would've stolen my car and he did steal my purse-I needed justice.

I wasn't a bad person, I hated doing those stuff, I even let Caroline copy my homework every now and then and I helped her with the assignments, but what this guy was doing wasn't just going to stop-he surely must be stealing for a long time now, if he was so cocky and feeling invincible.

When dad and I got inside, I didn't think twice about telling him-I was pissed off and even though he scolded me about this party and leaving all by myself without calling me, he still stood behind my decision to go to the police. I was mad-I hated guys like this, who thought they can somehow control everything, that they are somewhat better than the rest of the people on this earth-this guy was arrogant selfish stealing bastard and he deserved to be punished.

Dad called the police and they came home so we could all go together to his house and get him. The only annoying thing was that I had to give detailed description of everything that happened last night and that turned to be quite the long nightmare, which I had to repeat once we get to the station with him.

By the time we were driving to his house it was way past lunch so I guessed he must've been home, if not they've promised us to go to his workplace. When dad me and the officer ended up in front of his damp and quite bad-looking, almost wrecked house, I started wondering why does a guy who steal like this can't find a better place to live, but then again, maybe it was a better coverage for his actions. When we got out of the car, my dad put his hand on my shoulder and we all went to his door-somehow, I was feeling quite nervous, I don't know why, I was convinced I was doing the right thing, yet I couldn't get rid of the guilt in his eyes that I saw last night-that was making me feel bad, even though today he has acted like a total asshole. Something just wasn't right here, I couldn't figure out why he was doing this and why one night he was acting as if he feels awful for what he's doing and the next day he's braging about me not being able to get him.

The officer knocked on the door for quite some time until he opened up-once he saw us all, he took a step back sacredly, just like when he saw me this morning on my front porch. He was dressed in the same jeans and a white shirt and he looked like we've just woken him up.

"Stefan Salvatore?" the officer asked, and he nodded, uncertain about it all, staring at me as if he was trying to figure out why on earth have I done this.

"What's going on?" he asked, though he was perfectly aware why we were all here. I noticed he swallowed hard, but took a step forward and went outside, with his hand on the door frame as if he was trying hard to protect something inside this hole of a house.

"Miss Gilbert here claims you've tried to steal her car last night." the officer started with a judging tone. My father's grip on my shoulder also tightened, I felt he was quite nervous-he was willing to protect me no matter what and this guy right now was the idiot who could've possibly hurt me and tried to steal from us-he was quite angry. "Her purse is also missing."

"What? I never took her purse" he protested and threw me a hateful glance. The strange thing is that he sounded sincere and that completely surprised me. Though, I was certain my purse is lost, or more like-stolen and he was the only one who had managed to get in that car after I've locked it that night, there was no way he hadn't taken it.

"Stefan, what's wrong?" a girl with a straight blond hair, dressed in black shirt and tight blue jeans appeared behind him and gave him a concerned glare. I guessed this must've been the girlfriend, or so she looked like, he didn't let her come anywhere near us, however

"Go back in the kitchen, Lexi" he said it as a plead. It wasn't like he was ordering her or anything, which is why I'm guessing she didn't even attempt to make a step back and go to where she's come from. He turned back towards us and tried to explain to the officer "Look, sir, I've never taken her purse or anything."

"You do admit you were at that same street last night, trying to steal the car?" he asked and Stefan, obviously confused failed to come up with any proper answer, not even a lie. He just sighed and nodded while I watched the blondie put her hand on his arm the same way my father was holding me, as if they were trying to protect us in their own way

"I didn't take her purse, though" Stefan stated yet again and furrowed his eyebrows in my direction "That part is a lie."

"How dare you" my father spoke up, his voice both quite hoarse and stern, before he could continue, however, I put my hand over his in order to calm him down

"Then you could let us in so we can check the place for it" the officer said and made a step forward towards Stefan. They ended up extremely close to each other and I almost felt like Stefan's only desire is to punch this guy and make him leave, but he couldn't so he just pushed the blondie's hand away from his arm and took another defending position-he didn't want us in. There was something he was desperately trying to hide or protect, whatever it was, it obviously meant a lot to him

"Okay, fine, I took it." he rapidly changed his mind and took another step forward as he stretched his arms "You can search me."

"Stefan!" the girl protested behind him and I furrowed my eyebrows, because something here didn't seem quite right, though I couldn't figure out exactly what it was. He didn't respond, but he turned around and gave her a demanding look while the officer was checking him up "He's just a child" she turned towards me and my father this time, her voice quite begging "He didn't do it!"

"Lexi, stop talking right now!" he demanded again, his voice quite serious. He really did look like a child, though somehow prematurely grown-there was something so wrecked in his posture, I wondered what happened to him. When the officer kneeled down and searched his pockets, he got out a wad and handed it victoriously in front of Stefan's face

"How much were you missing again, Miss Gilbert?" he asked as he started counting them

"Five hundred" my father hurried to responded, before I could ever open my mouth as he watched the man intensely finish up counting, after which he smiled and looked at us somehow feeling proud that he was holding exactly the same amount of money in his hands

"Come on, kid. You have to come with us to the station" he said as he grabbed Stefan's hand and roughly pushed him down the stairs

"That's ridiculous, he got paid today. This isn't your money!" the girl kept yelling behind us and somehow no matter what Stefan did, he couldn't get rid of her and make her go back inside. He slowly took the stairs down and completely gave up on trying to free himself from the officer

"Call, Damon" he said quite calmly and gave her a light nod, as if he wanted to assure her everything will be alright. I turned back towards her and noticed that her eyes were filled with tears, she was trying very hard not to let go-she appeared to be a strong girl and deep down, I felt envious of her.

While Stefan became somehow strangely calm and silent as the officer was leading him to the car, the blondie remained on the broken old porch staring at him concerned, wondering what on earth she'll do now. She clearly loved him, I didn't know if it was romantically or in any other way, but she cared for him deeply.

When he got in the car, he looked away and my father pushed me to keep going to our own SUV so we can follow them to the station and give the statements. I don't know why, but I thought I'll feel so good when we get him, I believed that if we find the money I'll be rubbing it all in his nose, but in fact everything here made me sad-he obviously did have a hard life and the hatred he was giving me with one single glance, made me believe that I surely had no idea what's going on. However, I still stood by my words-what he did was wrong, he had to get what he deserved.

I couldn't figure out why I felt guilty and looked away when I saw the girl bury her hands in her beautiful straight hair helplessly and sit on the porch stairs-there was something so sad in her actions, so hopeless, it made me wonder what these people have been through.


	3. Chapter 3

**Elena's POV**

When we arrived at the station, it was surprisingly full. There was some football game and obviously the better half of the teenagers in the crowd were arrested, because they got into fights or were drinking alcohol. The officer who came with us to the house was holding Stefan's arm tightly, however, and was leading us through the corridors. I told dad to stay in the car and wait for me and even though he was unwilling and remained persistent until he got a call from the hospital and had to leave anyway. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and waited until he lost sight of me before he finally left.

Stefan remained silent and avoided my persistent stares. I couldn't figure out what was going on his mind, but whatever it was, surely it involved cursing me. Watching him like this, so calmly obeying and following the officer, made me wonder how come a boy like him decided to steal and yet again, I questioned my decision to call him out. Especially after the scene with the girl at his house, I've started having doubts in the car and dad saw it, which is why he kept repeating it was all fine and I shouldn't feel guilty.

I'm not sure what I felt was guilt.

I think it was more like.. pity. I guess that's why Stefan was despised me so much -I had no idea what his life was, but from what he said this morning, he hated rich spoiled girls and he surely saw me as one of them. I've began to wonder if I really was any different.

"Enzo!" the officer yelled at a guy sitting behind a desk with his back towards us "Can you come, please?" there were so many people around us, that if you ask me, Stefan could just walk out here unnoticed and get away with it all, if he wasn't held by this guy. He wasn't attempting anything, though, he's been quiet obedient ever since we arrived here. This Enzo guy turned around and was about to try and find himself an excuse as he obviously wasn't willing to deal with us, but something caught his attention. More like..someone.

"Stefan?" he asked as he stood up and approached us "What are you doing here, mate?" he seemed confused, but not surprised, which surely meant he's seen Stefan here before. Stefan smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"He tried to steal a car and took her purse." the officer announced and roughly pushed Stefan forward, as if he was a bag of potatoes and not a human being "They are all yours, my shift is over." Enzo nodded and we were left alone.

"I didn't expect to see you here again" Enzo started as he nodded down the hall and put his hand on Stefan's arm "Your brother promised he'll keep you out of trouble last time. I'm seeing he failed to do so."

"This has really nothing to do with Damon" Stefan silently responded and granted me an angry look, suggesting that this somehow was all my fault.

Enzo nodded with a knowing smile and led us to what seemed like the only empty office on the floor right now. My guilt disappeared the moment this officer recognized Stefan- my suspicions that he wasn't a good guy confirmed.

"I heard about Rebekah" Enzo started again, not acknowledging my presence at all, besides from nodding to me to sit down.

"I'm sorry for your loss." he said it quietly, as if he didn't want to bring the subject at all, but felt like he needs to say it. I looked at Stefan, who seemed somehow lost in his own world when Enzo mentioned this Rebekah and just nodded slightly in appreciation. I wondered who was this girl and what she meant to him if it hurt him so much, he had to look away. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine" Stefan cut him off a bit too harsh. Obviously, he didn't think it was in this guy's business to ask him, how he's dealing with loss and grief.

For yet another time today, my opinion changed-he lost someone and it obviously hurt. I wondered if this whole stealing thing wasn't, because he was trying to forget about everything that's happening. Then again, what did I know of him? I only met him yesterday and he tried to rob me.

"Yeah?" Enzo asked in disbelief, obviously wanting to dig deep into the matter "Want to tell me why you tried to steal then?"

"Just let her give the statements and do what you have to do." Stefan said quite seriously again "I'm not here for small talk." he threw me another angry glance and hurried to look away. I could see he's still under the influence of Enzo' s words about this girl.

"I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this, mate." Enzo stretched his arms innocently as he leaned on the window frame and gave Stefan another suspicious look "Stealing cars isn't like you and I know only one guy in the neighborhood you live in, who deals with those stuff."

"It's nothing like this." Stefan stated quite harshly again, as if he was desperate to prevent the subject from going any further. I couldn't figure out what Enzo meant-had he done it because someone made him to? Was he pressed to the wall and had no other choice but to do it? He did seem like a guy, who's desperate after all.

Enzo simply nodded, with his eyes furrowed and finally turned towards me. I told him everything that happened and how I figured out later on that my purse is gone, which is when we went to his house. He asked me a few times if I'm sure I'm missing my money, it seemed like he didn't want to believe that Stefan could've done this. Which was a surprise to me and it made me quite annoyed-I felt as I liar here. As if I've stolen something and not Stefan-somehow, even though I knew what I did was right, I felt like neither him nor me should be in this room right now.

"You confirm everything she stated?" Enzo turned back to Stefan and he gave him a slight nod, though that obviously didn't satisfy the officer, because he leaned back on his chair and tiredly rubbed his forehead. Something here bothered him, though I couldn't figure out why. "Fine then" he was too fed up with us, I wondered how long has he been here "I'll have to lock you and you'll wait till Damon bails you."

"He won't." Stefan stated "He doesn't have the money to." Enzo sighed again and avoided my confused expression. What does this mean? Will he have to stay in here if no one can bail him?

"Then you'll spent the next twenty-four hours in a cell." the officer wasn't willing to do this, I could see it, more or less this boy was still a teenager, just like I was and him being here, locked up behind bars, wasn't right.

I could see Enzo was in a fight with himself, but because I was here, he couldn't do anything else. He just had to lock Stefan up, so he stood and nodded toward the door. When we got outside he begged me to wait in front cause there were a few more details to discuss and I watched him put the handcuffs on Stefan's hands which was hilarious, having in mind he'll put him in a cell in less than a few minutes.

"I'll put you in a separate cell" Enzo started explaining and Stefan nodded slightly "I don't want you to fight anyone and we both know you have the tendency to get yourself in trouble." the funniest thing was that Stefan smiled when he heard the comment the officer made. There was something so desperate in his expression as he gave me one last disappointing look. It seemed like he hasn't expected anything else. Like there's nothing to amuse him anymore-he's probably seen so much in life, that he welcomed bad things with open arms-in a defeated and calm way. However, that didn't mean he wasn't a strong person-on the contrary, he seemed quite smart if I have to be honest, which still doesn't explain why he stole. Maybe indeed he had a reason, bigger than all of this.

"I don't want to see my brother" Stefan spilled out just as Enzo started leading him towards the cells, in a far more gentle way than the previous officer. "If he comes, don't let him in, okay?"

"I won't." Enzo assured and I saw them disappear behind the corner of a much larger hallway, leading to a wing full of cells.

I leaned back on the chair in front of the door, feeling more confused than ever.

I am supposed to be feeling better, after all I did the right thing.

Yet the thought of me being the reason for a seventeen year old spending the night behind bars, made me shiver. I was a compassionate soul by nature, a person, who loved helping others, who volunteered at the hospital and treated people so they could go home and spent time with their families. What I did today was the exact opposite, which is why I guess I felt so different and out-of-place. Deep down I was still trying to convince myself that he deserved it, no matter what the situation was, but that might've been just the voice inside me, trying to make it easier for me to live with myself after this.

**Damon's POV**

When Lexi called me to tell me my brother's been taken to the station, I was at work, beginning the next awful shift, which would supposedly help us support ourselves in the upcoming few weeks. I dreaded getting in the factory and starting off, but I had no other choice, so when they called me to tell me someone's trying to reach me, I was actually glad that I'll get to spent a few more minutes doing everything but working.

I've been an employee here for the past six years. Once I became eighteen, I found myself a place, got this job and managed to get Stefan out of this awful foster home they've placed him in, after we separated.

I still remember the day I went to take him, after it was already official, that I could be his legal guardian. He was in his room-all the other kids were outside, crawled up in the corner with a blanket, freezing to death, it was almost Christmas by that time and he was crying himself to sleep.

Nobody cared about him, he was left all by himself-he hasn't eaten in days, his clothes were dirty and he stank, his beautiful sandy hair was messy-he needed a haircut, there was dirt under his nails and he lacked a sock.

I can't remember the last time I was so furious about something-I made such a fuss in the foster home that they actually got scared-I yelled so much, I made him cry and he got afraid. I'm not sure he could separate dreams from reality-he seemed so tired, lost and confused. There was this animal look in his eyes-as if he has forgotten how to be a child, how to be careless and free, how to love.

When I got him home, I couldn't make him undress himself-he was scared of my every touch. I knew there were kids who beat him, I could see the bruises on his back and his black eye, which he couldn't open. I couldn't make an eleven year old get in the shower, because he was afraid I'll beat the hell out of him.

I had to give up on cleaning him, at least for that night-I figured I should first make him feel secure and understand, that it's all going to be fine from now on. I took him in my embrace and even though he fought me, he relaxed when I helped him warm up. After that, I got him food and he started eating as if he hadn't had a meal in a week, which quite possibly could've been the case. After that of course he threw it all up, simply because it's been days he has put something in his mouth. It took me a very long time to make him understand he's no longer in that awful place. He has closed himself so much, that he didn't want to say a single word. I couldn't even make him say yes or no, he just nodded his head from time to time and I considered that a progress. Two weeks after that, I made him go out for the first time. When I saw him swinging on the playground with the first small smile on his face, I almost cried.

So many things have happened since then. I still can't believe he's a father and he's doing such a good job. I'm extremely proud of him, even when I'm whining so much about it. I admit, I didn't believe he'll manage to do it.

He's fighting so hard for his son, that it actually scares me. He's willing to do whatever it takes, but to make sure Joe has everything he needs. Even now, when we're both working so hard, he still thinks his son is lacking stuff. He doesn't consider himself to be a good father and I often find him awake at night, just sitting on the kitchen table, writing in his diary or thinking about stuff and slowly drinking his beer.

He's a very old soul, my brother, even if he's only seventeen.

And then he does things like this-getting himself into troubles. Things that simply infuriate me. First, because I myself fought very hard to get him out of this place of sorrow and despair he was living in and second, because he knows better. While driving to the police station, I was trying to cover my worry with anger, as I usually did. I knew Stefan must've had a problem, he wouldn't just steal so recklessly and get himself caught-there was something else here, something, with which he was trying to deal on his own.

And that's what infuriated me most.

When I got there, they guided me to Enzo' s office. I knew him for a while back, a little before I was about to leave the system. He was just arriving at the time, after his parents were killed in a robbery he was left all alone and had to be shipped off at a foster home.

By that time, I was familiar with everything going on there, Stefan and I have spent years changing homes and places, so I introduced things to him and got his back when there were troubles. He was a nice guy and he dreamt of becoming something I quite honestly despised-a police officer. However, he proved to be quite benevolent towards Stefan last time and he cared for us, unlike everyone else. I'm sure part of him saw us as a charity case and pitied us, but I didn't really care about this now, I just needed to get Stefan out of here and I was okay with Enzo thinking whatever he wants as long as he helps me with this.

There was a girl waiting in front of his office and I thought she was waiting to get in there, but when I asked her she shook her head and so I just burst through the door, only to find Enzo behind his desk filling up some paperwork.

"Damon." he stood up abruptly and a few of the papers fell on the ground, though he didn't pay any attention to it.

"Where's my brother?" I asked right away, I didn't see a point in prolonging things, I just needed to find Stefan, beat his ass and make him tell me everything.

"Okay, why don't you sit first?" Enzo saw I was quite angry and nodded to the chair in front of me

"Don't play dumb with me, just tell me what's going on" I begged as I took a few more steps towards him while he leaned on his messy desk and sighed tiredly. I'm guessing dealing with two Salvatore brothers in one day could be exhausting "Stefan wouldn't just steal a car!"

"He attempted to do so" Enzo pointed out knowingly "But since he failed, he managed to get away only with the girl's purse."

"My brother is not a-"

"They found the money she's missing on him, Damon." Enzo interrupted me with a stern voice "There's no point in arguing. I get you're worried and you want this over with and I'm aware of the fact that you've came to beg me to let him go, but I can't."

"Oh come on, he can't stay here!" I opposed as I threw my hands in the air helplessly, there's got to be some way to take my brother home with me tonight.

"You saw the girl outside?" Enzo asked and as I nodded, I wondered why he had to change the subject. He was getting on my nerves-I needed to get to Stefan, now, I couldn't waste more time. He's already been here for hours. "This is Elena Gilbert, do you recognize the last name?"

"Grayson Gilbert" now my voice was way more silent, I was trying to let it all sink in "The doctor" Enzo nodded.

I knew those people. Grayson was the best surgeon this town had and the Gilberts were a Founders family-they were important for the society, everyone in town knew and loved them. They were all like the perfect family, though I knew the mother had to travel a lot and was almost always out of town. Stefan did not really try to rob those people, did he?

"I can't let him go like this, Damon" Enzo tried to reason with me "Grayson Gilbert was pissed off, he hates the fact that someone tried to attack his daughter and rob her. It's not like the last time Stefan was in trouble. Now I'll have to leave him here." for a moment I didn't respond, I didn't want to admit that Stefan could've been so stupid. I'm sure there must've been some other explanation about it all, I just wasn't able to figure it right now, maybe because I was extremely mad and I couldn't get myself together.

"Goddamit, Enzo, he's seventeen years old! He's just a child, can't you just let him be?"

"Not until you bail him out and from what I gathered, Stefan said you don't have the money to do so." he rubbed his forehead tiredly and for a minute here I felt bad for taking it out on him, this wasn't his fault, he had to do his job, no matter what the circumstances are

"I'm sorry, Damon" Enzo stated sincerely, I could sense the sadness in his voice, he really didn't like this "You'll have to come take him tomorrow. It's only twenty four hours, he'll be okay." I sighed tiredly and finally sat down on the chair, next to him. Feeling helpless, I buried my hands in my hair and stared at my old black shoes, trying to process it all

"He'll get away with a warning now" my friend kept explaining "But he's turning eighteen next month. If he continues doing those things, he'll end up in jail and I'm sure you don't want that. Do you understand what I'm saying here?"

"Just get him out of this mess, I'll take care of him" I stated with certainty, feeling the burning desire inside me to just kick Stefan's ass and give him a big speech

"You said that last time as well and yet here we are." he reminded me, his voice quite stern, as if he was blaming me for it all and honestly, he had every right to do so, because he was right. I should've paid attention to Stefan-instead I was always tired and whining about Joe's cries in the middle of the night. I haven't been supportive lately at all-I was either sleeping or eating while at home and he and Lexi took care of the child all the time. I can't remember the last time I had to babysit Joe for more than a few hours

"I just don't understand why he would do this." I admitted and looked up at Enzo, who was back at staring down at the papers on his desk

"I've been trying to figure that out as well, but he refuses to talk." he dropped the file he was holding and went back to his chair only so he could practically collapse on it. He seemed extremely tired, just like I was "Something just isn't right."

"Can I see him already?" I asked quite impatiently. If Stefan was unwilling to talk now, he would surely change his mind once he sees me.

"No" Enzo shook his head stubbornly "I'm sorry, you can't. He said he doesn't want to see you now, you'll have to wait till tomorrow."

I furrowed my eyebrows and stood up abruptly without even realizing it, but before I could start protesting Enzo raised his hand to prevent me from talking

"I've had enough of you and your brother today. I can't force him to see you, Damon and before you've tried coming up with some excuse you better keep it to yourself and start trying to figure out how to fix this mess." he said quite roughly again, which caused me to grunt unpleasantly in his direction. I didn't like feeling so helpless-I had this urge inside me to go get my brother and hug him tightly before getting all mad at him, I just needed to make sure he was fine. I'm guessing my concerned expression softened Enzo, because he continued

"I'll make sure he's all fine, Damon. I promise." he said and I nodded before getting out of this place.

I was angry, pissed off actually, I wanted to kick something, to yell and toss stuff, but I couldn't let myself do this now, because I had to go home and take care of a motherless boy, who would be without his father tonight as well. I had to feed him and put him to bed, if Lexi hasn't done that already-I had to be with me little nephew, because his dad was about to spent the night in a damp cold cell since I didn't have the money to bail him out. The thing is, for the first time money was not the problem-it was me. I should've noticed my brother's a mess, I should've figured what going on his mind, I should've kept a closer eye on him especially when I knew how stubborn and reckless he could be sometimes and yet I didn't. Now he was paying for my mistakes.

He and his little son.

**Stefan's POV**

I tossed myself on the cold bed or whatever I should call this thing, which was the only piece of furniture in my cell, after doing some push ups to kill the time. It was getting dark and I could hear the other inmates moving impatiently, the better part of them probably waiting for their closest relatives to come and bail them at once. Most of them weren't here for long, I doubt there would be anyone left tonight besides me, but then again I heard the guards talking about transporting two other people to jail tomorrow, which is why I'm guessing Enzo separated me in this cell-he knew otherwise I would probably get into a fight just like last time when I was here and he didn't want to risk it.

I honestly didn't expect this girl to come by my house and do all this. I was surprised when I saw her on our doorstep and honestly, even then I still believed I would be able to get away with this-she couldn't prove anything, it could've been anyone on that street, but when she mentioned the purse, which by the way I've never really managed to see and the officer wanted to get in I had to do something.

I wasn't about to let this man get into my house and search through all our stuff with my boy helplessly lying in his crib. I knew they would make me go to the station anyway, no matter what I said, simply because I had a record, so I figured I should lie about this. It was reckless, I should've thought more about it, but I acted out on instinct, I just didn't want anyone near Joseph. I had no idea what would happen from now on, I was hoping Damon has come and talked to Enzo, begged him not to keep me here for too long, but I couldn't be sure and there wasn't anyone I could ask. I'm pretty sure by now Enzo's shift must've ended.

I sighed and closed my eyes-I wondered what is my son doing right now? I needed to be with him-the fact that I couldn't be next to him now and make sure he's fine, was driving me insane. I was aware Lexi and Damon would never let anything happen to him while I'm gone, but that didn't make me feel any better.

I've disappointed him.

You would think that for all those awful stuff I've been through in my life, I would've taken a lesson and stopped repeating the same mistakes, but at the end of the day this girl Elena was right when she pointed out in her statement, that I'm a criminal and she believed she was doing the right thing by calling the police. Even though at first I disagreed, the more time I spent here, the more I understood how right she was.

Somehow, always up until now in my life I've managed to screw things up and my brother was the one to get me out of my messes. Now wasn't any different, which is why I didn't want him to see me or to bail me out, even if he had the money to, which I knew he didn't.

I deserved this.

I was wrong and too messed up for all the people in my life-with me,I brought nothing but pain and sorrow-I'm not sure Joe deserved such a father.

I wasn't sure what kind of life I could provide for him, but there's one thing I knew for sure-I would never stop fighting. While I am alive, I would risk my life for him. Honestly, that was the easiest thing I could do-all the other responsibilities that came with raising a child-nursing them when they're sick, feeding them, making sure they're warm and feeling good, wanting for them to be nothing but happy-that's the hard part.

I knew when he grows, he would find out so many things and he might even look at me as a weak coward, who stole or work long hours, but it wouldn't really matter as long as I know he's fine. I will give everything to make sure he doesn't have the life me and Damon did. I would find a way to get him through college, I'll make sure he finds a good job-actually I want him far away from me when he grows up. I don't want him to feel obligated to take care of his old man and feel ashamed from me, because of everything I've done. I know it's really early to think and talk about those stuff, he was only five months old, but I was a parent now-if not me, who's going to worry, right? He's the one thing in my life that makes me happy, that gives me strength to keep going, that prevents me from falling into my desperation, that helps me forget, that I lost the love of my life.

I heard someone open the main gate leading to the cells and closed my eyes tiredly. When I heard Enzo' s voice calling me out from the barely lightened hallway, however I jumped off the bed.

"Stefan." he said calmly and I approached the bars. He seemed like he was about to leave, dressed in his jacket, not the usual uniform, a bag in his right hand and a yellow folder in the other. I came closer and tightened my fists round the cell bars, trying to get an even better look at him. He wasn't smiling, honestly, he seemed in the mood to interrogate and I wasn't up to talking about this, not anymore. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and he sighed as he continued explaining.

"Your brother will come get you tomorrow evening. It will all be fine." he reassured and this time he smiled "I pulled some strings, you won't be punished, but consider this a last chance."

"Thank you." I mumbled and looked down feeling more and more awful with every passing minute, I had to spend here.

He wasn't here for chit-chat though, I knew he can tell me all those things tomorrow, yet there was a reason he has come so late when I assumed his shift must've ended at least an hour ago. He seemed quite exhausted, just like me and my brother. I guess parentless people get this bend-from-the-life posture earlier than everyone else.

"You're freezing" he noted and I hurried to shake my head, though he was already taking off his jacket. I was wearing only a t-shirt when they took me away and the cell was damp, cold and very dark. I did felt cold, I just didn't want to admit it, even if this person was someone my brother considered a friend.

"Here you go" he put the jacket inbetween the bars, but I left it hanging there, unwilling to take it, even if I could feel the cold creep in every inch of my body. He noticed I wasn't up to talking and before he could say anything else or even grab my wrist, I pulled back and sat on the bed, not even looking at him anymore.

"I need to know what this John Avery thing is all about?" I still didn't say anything and I heard him sighing tiredly yet again. I did assume he'll figure it all out, not that I cared much "Stefan, this is a dangerous person you're dealing with, you know that right?"

"I can handle myself, Enzo." I just stated dryly, desperately trying to prevent him from going any further. Damon always got pissed off at me for doing that-I didn't argue with people, I usually just agreed with them and then did whatever on earth I wanted to do. I shut it all off-the advice they were giving me, the promises, the believes for a better future. I just didn't trust people, except from my brother or Lexi and Enzo was obviously neither.

"If you do something stupid again, you can really end up in jail and not just for twenty-four hours." his voice changed now, it seemed, as if he was threatening me and that was what actually made me angry, so I abruptly stood up and caught the bars again, this time facing him without feeling neither guilt nor shame.

"If John Avery is such a bad guy, why is he not in a cell somewhere next to me, huh Enzo?" I asked, my voice quite silent, though my words carried the necessary message

"I am trying to catch him!" Enzo raised his voice and pulled back "I need more information about him." he was angry. I'm guessing he's been trying so desperately to get something on this guy for a long time now and he was simply failing.

That was none of my concern though-I had a child I had to think of, I couldn't get in the middle of those things. Yes, I did owe money to Avery and yes, he was a bad guy, but I was just a simple teenage boy-I was in no way connected to his personal affairs and I had no intentions of doing so.

"Then I suggest you keep searching" I smiled and took a step back.

Now it was all clear to me-he thought, I might know something about this guy, that's why he was so desperate to make me talk, that's why he was so good to us-why he was getting me out of this mess so easy, why he was even giving me his jacket. This wasn't, because he was my brother's friend.

I gave him a look of disbelief-I had a hard time understanding how come he figured he could use me like this, even if he was so desperate. I took the jacket and threw it back in his feet. He furrowed his eyebrows and the mood between us drastically changed. He kicked the jacket away and came even closer.

"I don't think you understand how serious stuff are here." he stated, as if I didn't have a choice, but even if I was seventeen I wasn't dumb-he was on the losing side here.

I know Enzo-he's not a bad man, he's just desperate and he tends to go to extremes just to get what he wants and needs. Damon has told me he's still searching for the person who killed his parents-it was probably hard to live with this inside you. However-that wasn't my fault, I had my own issues, my own weight to carry on, I was not responsible for the others.

"I have a child, Enzo" I said through teeth "I'm not going to get myself into messes, I can't get out of. The fact that you can't deal with a criminal, doesn't mean I have to put my life on the line for something in which first I don't believe and second doesn't make much sense." the desperation in his stare was making me feel secure, stronger.

He thought that with Damon not being here, he could manipulate me-he has failed to realize, that I have grown and I wasn't the child so helplessly hiding behind his brother, running after him whenever he went, feeling lost and confused. I am not the same boy, I'm no longer that weak and even if now, I'm practically helpless, I was sure, I will get out of this.

"You are already in this mess" Enzo caught up on my words.

"I'll give him the money back. I'll figure a way out." I said it more as a promise to myself and Joe, even if he wasn't here with me, than to Enzo, though I noticed him take another step closer to the cell-I didn't move back, though. I wasn't afraid.

"I need someone to just keep updating me on things there." now he was suddenly somehow warmer to me, probably because he was trying to convince me, I should cooperate. The thing is, I was telling him the truth-I wasn't the right guy for this job. I wasn't in the inner circles, I didn't work even in Avery's garage, I was yet another person who took a loan from him and in our neighborhood probably forty percent of the people have done so

"That's all I want" he continued, but I shook my head stubbornly and his expression changed yet again, from calm and convincing, he suddenly became irritated and annoyed-I was pissing him off "You know you can stay here for way more than twenty four hours?" he stated dryly and I only smiled, which drove him insane.

"You keep me as long as you have to." I put my hands between the bars again, the light coming from the hallway was making everything way different-it's like he belonged to a whole other world and there I was-sitting in the darkness, waiting for the moment, I could see my boy again.

"It won't change anything, though" I smiled one last time and moved away from the bars, only so I could toss myself on the bed again. As I heard him walk away, I sighed-he knew well enough he can't keep me here for too long, eventually he would just have to let me go-I was still underage, though I had about a month until turning eighteen. It was my last chance to get away with something like this and he was perfectly aware of it.

That didn't help me fall asleep, though. I could only think of what Joe and Damon must be doing now. Judging by the time he must've gone to bed-I usually sang to him or told him stories, my brother wasn't much for those things, I doubt he would do either one of them right now, then again he often surprises me when I least expect. I just hoped they are fine.

I didn't care much for myself.

**Elena's POV**

It was an early Sunday morning when I heard my phone ring and groaned unpleasantly-it was probably my dad asking if I have woken up already, so I could go to the hospital and help him. I was tired from studying all night, but I knew perfectly well that I won't say no to him, no matter how exhausted I am-I just had this urge inside me to prove myself to him, no matter what. When I saw Caroline's name however, I sighed annoyed and almost didn't pick up. Something however, changed my mind and later on I wished, I've never picked up.

"Hey, Elena" her cheery voice was unfortunately helping me wake up, though I wished, I could fall back asleep after I hear whatever it is she has to say.

"Care, it's nine in the morning, can you for once not call me that early?"

"It's actually about noon, sweetheart" she laughed and I sat up abruptly in my bed, which somehow made my head hurt, even though I haven't drunk last night.

"What's up?" I cut her off, I just wanted this over with, I wasn't up to talking to her right now. After last night when we left that boy at the station I've been feeling even worse and I couldn't get rid of the guilt inside, I just needed to get to the hospital and distract myself from it all, so I would forget about it.

"Why so cranky now? I'm calling you with good news." she wasn't annoyed or angry with me, she knew I could be awful when woken up so abruptly and she was bearing with the consequences "I found your purse last night" I choked with the water I was drinking from the cup I usually put on my bedside and spitted all over the clean sheets, I've changed last night.

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry." she continued in her usual cheery way, without really feeling bad for what has happened "I must've taken it by mistake. Tyler was the one to notice it this morning when he was driving me home, actually. I've tossed it on his backseat. You know, I told you it wasn't a good idea to buy a blue one, it seems black in the dark-just like mine, that's why I must've taken it."

"Oh my God." I only whispered and covered my mouth with my pale and shaky palm, as I leaned back on the head board.

He really hasn't done it.

He was telling us the truth.

I slapped myself on the face and didn't pay any attention to Caroline's precise description of her breakfast with Tyler this morning. For once, I didn't care about her and the boy she loved, because they both had it all and were happy, while I was standing here with the guilt creeping up inside me and the awful realization that I've put a boy behind bars for something he hasn't done.

Out of nowhere, when I closed my eyes, the only thing I could see was that blond girl on their porch, helplessly staring with tears in her eyes, as we took him away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Stefan's POV**

I was finally free.

After two days in this damp cold cell, I was finally out, carefully and slowly coming towards my brother, who abruptly stood up from his seat in the waiting room and practically ran to me.

I was shivering, I felt cold and hungry-they've kept me without food for those two days, but most of all I was tired-I don't think I've managed to catch any sleep at all.

Damon embraced me and I felt how worried he really was, though he was also glad to see me-I was relieved. He was going to take me home to my son after two days of Enzo trying to torture out something from me and make me work in his favor.

Even though, I was certain that this Elena girl must've learned the truth about her purse and realized that I haven't stolen it, no one ever came to try and get me out of my misery.

I had no idea what Enzo told Damon when he came to get me when I was supposed to be out-he might've just told him the truth-that he was trying to use me, or he twisted things, blaming it all on the Gilberts, whichever it was, it didn't matter now, because I never backed down-I refused to do whatever it was he wanted from me and my resistances finally paid off-I was a free man again.

"Stefan!" Damon rubbed my back gently, though I knew he could feel me shiver and was probably trying to warm me up.

I was still wearing the same white shirt I put on when I've come home two days ago from work. I almost laughed in my head thinking about my job-I knew, I must've lost my place already, since I never showed up for my shift.

Maybe that's why Damon was so desperate and sad, or was it because I looked bad? I didn't know, I couldn't realize what was going on-I was just glad and relieved and the only thing I wanted to do was collapse on my bed with my son in my arms, sleeping peacefully on my chest, as he usually did.

"What's this from?" Damon asked as he took my wrist and took a closer at the red sore skin there as he furrowed his eyebrows

"I'll tell you when we get home" I whispered barely audible, which judging by his facial expression scared him even more "Take me to my son." I begged him and he nodded, though he first wrapped me up in his jacket and tightened his grip on my arm as if he was afraid I won't have enough strength to get to our old brown truck.

I did, however and when I finally jumped on the seat, I sighed relieved, while he was searching for a sweater on the backseat and passed me the same black one, I was with, the night I tried to steal this car, which brought me so much troubles.

"I really want to kick your ass" Damon announced angrily and I smiled "But I'll wait till we get home and you look less like a dead man and more like my brother"

"Damon" I said it in a calming way, but he threw me another angry look and I just shook my head. "It's okay, brother" I tried once again, though it didn't do much good and I remained silent all the way to our home.

I was so tired, I fell asleep and I felt him gently rubbing my shoulder when we arrived. I was all fine though, he shouldn't be worrying-I just needed a good night's sleep and some food.

I've been through worse, this couldn't even qualify as one of my bad days, it was just something I had to go through. I was pretty strong so the cold didn't bother me much, I knew I wouldn't get sick.

A little after Damon got me out of the system, I decided I should man up and start acting like I was supposed to-I began running and training a lot and I got into boxing, which explained my strong arms and why I had no bruises when Enzo hit me in the ribs numerous times last night-I was just used to this kind of pain and I knew how to protect my own body even when my hands were literally tied.

In the past few months however, I've lost my previous shape, I was still strong, but it wasn't the same, between Joe and work, I barely found time to sleep, let alone wake up early and run. Still, I was glad I managed to remain unbend, it was what mattered most.

When we finally entered our small wrecked house, we found Lexi in the kitchen with a trying to crawl on the couch Joe, who immediately acknowledged our presence with one of his loud baby happy sounds and I smiled as I leaned down to take him in my arms.

"Oh, Joe!" I said relieved and pressed him to my chest after I placed a thousand kisses on his forehead and blond head.

At first he giggled, but then he felt how sad I was for being away from him so long and he became strangely quiet, though he didn't push away from me or cry, he only tightened his small grip on my shirt sleeve while I remained with my eyes closed and was desperately trying to prevent my tears from falling down.

I don't know how long we stayed like this, but I was sure it wouldn't be enough for me, even if we spent days like this. It felt like I was in jail for months, not just two days-I was emotionally drained, feeling angry at both this girl, who didn't have the guts to come and tell the truth about her damn purse and at Enzo, who was so bend on making me do something for him.

I told him I would never betray my believes though-I might be a thief every now and then, but I still had honor-I wouldn't work for someone like John Avery even if it could potentially solve all my problems. I had no intentions of making my son feel any more ashamed of his father.

I felt Lexi' s gentle skinny arms wrap around me and her placing a kiss on my cheek, her vanilla scent, as always present, was helping me forget about the damp cell and feel back home.

I still didn't open my eyes though, I was enjoying the last few good minutes I could have with Joe, before starting to explain them everything that happened.

I was sure Lexi has told Damon that I still owed money to Avery, she wouldn't hide something like this from him with me behind bars and I'm sure he pushed her to speak up the truth as well. That didn't mean Damon wasn't pissed off-I could sense his infuriation from the other corner of the small kitchen.

"Hey" Lexi rubbed my back, just like my brother did "It's all fine, Stefan." she whispered and I finally looked up.

I turned around, only to find my brother on the table, with his favorite bottle of bourbon in hand, patiently waiting to take a sip after I start talking, which is when I would most probably piss him off and I was well aware of the fact that he simply cared too much, which is why he was lashing out and getting so angry.

It didn't mean he wasn't right though-he was like a moral compass, something to bring me back on the right path when I did something stupid, he was the only thing that kept me together and he surely was an inspiration to me-he did so many things for me and Joseph, I could never be able to repay him.

"Come on" she wanted to take Joe away and put him in his crib, but I just shook my head and she didn't argue, she only pulled me a chair and joined me and Damon on the table. He poured me a glass and slid it across the table-I managed to catch it fast and cupped it with my left hand, my grip making the marks from the rope look even more sore now.

"What's that from?" Lexi asked this time, but I didn't respond until I felt my brother's heavy look on me.

"Enzo figured out this whole stealing thing had something to do with John Avery" I started explaining, though this wasn't even the beginning of the story "He wanted me to be his informer. That's why he kept me longer than I was supposed to be in there."

"He did what?" Lexi was extremely surprised while Damon just abruptly stood up and removed the glass he was holding away from his sight, as if he was getting ready to beat Enzo right away for what he did to me

"Enzo did this to you?" he asked slowly and watched me nod with a terrified expression, while still holding my son tightly. I could feel him drifting away-he must've been tired, it was getting dark outside and I knew well enough that as the evening progressed he could either be a restless smiling ball of sunshine or a sleepy cuddly sweetheart and now was the second one. "I'm going to kill him."

"It's fine, Damon" I assured him "I made it clear, I won't be doing anything for him. He was just…eager to try if you can call it like this." I stated calmly and nodded calmingly to Damon, who however refused to sit down.

"You want to tell me what the hell is going on, Stefan?" he finally figured he should start from the beginning and Lexi threw me a warning glance, trying to tell me I shouldn't put up a fight here, but just talk-Damon was mad enough as it was already

"You told me you had it all figured out with Avery." he said through teeth and I looked down at my son who was just closing his eyes and gripping my index finger with his small hand, trying to find something to hold on to, just like I was so desperately looking for the same thing

"Now out of nowhere you steal cars and get yourself caught!" he raised his voice slightly, though that didn't bother Joe, on the contrary, my son only tilted his head and I tugged him closer to my chest, as if I wanted to protect him from something invisible to us all "How could you do this?" he was unable to figure my logic out "What you did was both stupid and risky and the worse part is that you're perfectly aware of the fact that you could get into awfully big troubles." I sighed and watched Lexi stand up and take Joe away to the living room-she didn't want him to wake up nor was she up to watching us fight.

I knew she would intervene later and I unwillingly let go of my son-I loved me brother, but I hated it when he was brutally right-it dig a hole into my soul to realize how stupid and reckless I've been this whole time.

"Look, Damon" I started "I just wanted this over with and that seemed like the easiest way to do this. I had no idea anyone was going to catch me."

"You promised me you'll stop with those stuff, goddammit" his clenched fist hit the table and it slightly jumped. I didn't though-I was used to his anger.

It didn't mean I didn't feel bad though-I still felt like I've betrayed him. I had indeed promised him to stay away from all kinds of trouble and for months I really did-I had my job, I was doing it all right and he was letting his work ruin him for the good of all of us.

It just wasn't fair.

I understood his anger. But he couldn't get what it's like to be a parent and to know you have to do whatever you can to get away from some awful situation, because you have no idea what could happen to your kid if you're not here.

"You stood right here in this awfully cold kitchen, with your hands hid in your jeans pockets and promised me you'll stay out of trouble just after I've got you out of jail last time. Do you remember this?"

"I do." I finally took a sip from my glass. I was sad, awfully sad and disappointed in myself.

Most of all, I realized I was stupid enough to think, I won't get to this moment when my brother would know and try to figure what to do with me for yet another time. Long ago, I've promised myself that I'll stop taking favors from him, that I had to deal with stuff by myself and yet here we were-he was helping me raise my son and spent two days worrying why on earth was not Enzo letting me out!

I was nothing by trouble for him.

He saw my despair and something in his tone changed the next time he spoke up.

However, there was a long pause before that, in which we stared at each other and did nothing but drink from the bourbon. We talked with stares-I saw his confusion, the worry he tried to hide so very hard every time he was mad out of his mind and he saw my sadness, my helplessness, my unwillingness to believe that somehow one day I'll be strong enough to fix everything that's so awfully wrong in my life.

"The firm called yesterday morning" he finally spoke up, his voice too silent and very unlike him, which is when I knew what his next sentence was going to be.

Despite that, I threw him one last hopeful glance and watched him shake his head

"I'm sorry, brother, they've fired you. Somehow they even knew you're at the station" I knew that it could've been Enzo who called them about this.

He did after all threaten me, he can harm me in ways I don't suspect and I guess that's one of it. I didn't care much for this, I was going to find another job. I just had no other choice.

This was just another slap on the face I had to take as my brother taught me-hold my breathe, clench my jaw, nod sternly, look away and let it all out when there's no one else around me, which is what I did now.

Damon knew me well enough, though so he stretched his arm and put his hand on my shoulder while I was staring down at the old full of scratches table

"We'll figure it out. You'll see." he assured me and I only let a tired sigh out as he let me off his hook and poured me another glass of bourbon, which honestly wasn't influencing me in any way, even though I haven't eaten in days.

"I don't see how it's going to get better, Damon" I responded honestly "I still owe Avery money, I don't have a job and Enzo could possibly cause us more troubles."

"We'll come up with the money." my brother sounded strangely confident and I furrowed my eyebrows "We'll sell something if we have to, but we'll deal with this. Avery is someone we don't want to have breathing in our necks"

"I'm not afraid of him." I interrupted him

"He's dangerous, Stefan" Damon warned as if I didn't know this up until now.

I've already heard awful stories about him and what he does to the people who somehow are stupid enough to dare him.

"You know better than to play a game with him. We'll come up with something" he leaned back on his chair and took another sip from his glass, while I continued staring at the liquid in my own, thinking carefully about his words.

"Now tell me what's the Enzo problem all about" he became even more serious than before and though I was unwilling to talk I had no other choice. Sometimes I felt like he was acting as my father and not my brother, especially in moments like this.

"He wanted to convince me to work for him and bring him information about Avery." I started casually as if I was announcing the weather

"I refused. He tied my hands, kicked me a few times in the ribs and left me in the cold. It wasn't a big deal" I shrugged my shoulders and when I finally looked up back at Damon, still feeling that pit in my stomach, which only appeared because I wasn't telling him about all the threats Enzo made and the way he treated me, and watched him slowly leave his glass, raise up and come by my side.

When he grabbed my hand, at first I was confused as to what he was about to do, but the gentle way he raised me up and brought me to the sink with the rest of the bourbon bottle in his hand, made my fear disappear. He knew well enough that ever since I was a kid, I sometimes even jumped when someone touched me. Rebekah used to laugh about that, though later when I got used to her touch, she admitted she regretted acting so immature.

Thinking about her was way more painful than Damon pouring the alcohol over my bruised from the rough rope wrists.

"Lexi" Damon yelled as he still held my hands tight "LEEEX" she has probably fallen asleep on the couch with Joe in her hands and I turned out to be right cause when she finally ran to the kitchen her hair was a mess and her eyes were barely opened.

I felt too bad for using her like this sometimes. She didn't need to be here, yet she was and I felt so much gratitude towards her in this moment I saw her, that I finally began realizing I was home and no more in this awful place

"Come here and bandage him or something, he looks like he had a rough night with a hooker, who tied him to the bed board." Lexi smiled and rushed by my side, though I pretty much refused to her doing this. I didn't have much of a choice and in the next half an hour I watched my brother bring woods for the fireplace and make sure I'm warm enough while my best friend brought me some dinner from last night and eventually they both kicked my ass to my bed, though I wanted to sleep on the couch in the kitchen next to Joe's crib, like I usually did.

However, they both didn't even let me raise my voice and I ended up in my old room, all alone and tired in the darkness, on the broken squeaking bed, Rebekah and I used to sleep on numerous occasions.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is where Joe was conceived, though Rebekah claimed it was this weekend we spent in Charleston away from everyone, because the doctor said it should be somewhere at the end of this month. Though I remember very vividly how I held her in my hands the night before we left-we were right here together, I even knew the sounds the bed made as she turned left and right impatiently while trying to fall asleep-she was the devil this girl!

She couldn't even sleep peacefully, it usually took me so long to finally make her calm down and just lay down on my chest so we wouldn't fall on the floor. Sometimes when Joe was restless at night, he reminded me so much of her.

Just like the love of my life, he wouldn't rest until I started gently rubbing his back and held his hand in mine while gently humming some melody. If he turns out to be a rebel like her, I'll be in so much trouble. Though I wasn't a very decent teenager myself, considering the troubles I was getting myself into.

I stared at the ceiling thinking about her, being unable to fall asleep. I had the awful need to hold her in my arms, that I ended up stretching my left hand and leaving it hang like this as if she would lie down on my chest in any given moment and I had to be ready to embrace her, but I knew well enough she wouldn't come. She just wasn't here anymore.

And I was still unable to get used to this.

**Elena's POV**

I was walking down the street with Caroline after a long afternoon of shopping with her-it was a day completely wasted. A day I could've used to study or help dad at the hospital, maybe spend some time with my brother or find the courage to get to Stefan's house and apologize for what I did.

Ever since that morning Caroline told me she has mistaken the purses, I couldn't stop thinking about him and the guilt I felt just wouldn't leave me. I've went to the hospital and found dad, begged him to go to the station and just tell them everything, but he refused-he said the guy was a criminal anyway-he would've stolen the car if I haven't caught him and they were going to get him out in no time anyway. We got into a big fight, which resulted in us still not normally talking to each other. I've decided I'll go to the station myself anyway, but he made me stay in the hospital with him after which when we got home he grounded me, practically for no reason. It wasn't fair and he knew it, I think he just didn't want to swallow his pride and admit we were wrong.

I simply didn't agree with him.

Because no matter what, I still felt, that if our places were reversed Stefan wouldn't have left me there. I don't know why, but I was certain he's not a bad person, there was something in his eyes-this warmth and sadness, this stubbornness and strength. He was nothing like the boys I've ever met, he was something else, someone different from all the people I grew up with-I thought, I was used to seeing pain, sorrow and despair in the hospital, but when I saw him, it just hit me, it was fast and strong-as if a stormy wind was trying to bend me down-I still remember the way he stood on his doorstep-he was nothing like a boy, he was more of a man than many of the grown-ups I've seen.

I remember, I felt small and insignificant, most of all stupid, because he seemed so old and familiar with everything-he wasn't even slightly surprised when he saw the officer at his doorstep and when Enzo led him to the cells, he was patiently walking right towards his inevitable fate. It's not like he wasn't resisting-I could see the tension in his arms, the way he wanted to just yank himself out and run away, but he couldn't-he was trapped and I was the reason for it.

I almost spit my water out when I saw him and who must've been his brother enter the Grill, half an hour after Caroline and I've settled down for a quick snack. He couldn't see me from the place he was standing-we were occupying a table in one of the dark and more private corners, but I could see him very well. They both walked to the bar and sat slowly down, barely finding themselves some place in the crowd there. It was noisy, I couldn't figure what they were talking about from afar, but I could observe them.

However, I wanted to talk to him. Somehow I found this urge inside me to speak and tell him the truth, Caroline was an obstacle for me, though-I never told her what happened. She knew someone tried to steal my car, but that was it-the rest of it, I kept to myself, for some unknown even to me reason.

I think fate was trying to rub it in my nose that I had to fix this, because my best friend got a call from Tyler and left me ten minutes after Stefan and his brother have entered.

I don't know why, but I didn't go and talk to him right away. At first I carefully found myself a place close to them, but still where they couldn't see me. When I took a better look at him, I noticed that his wrists were bandaged, his eyes were extremely tired, his posture even more bended-he seemed like he hasn't slept in a while. He and his brother were discussing something very lively, though silently between them and it was hard for me to distinguish the words, but I saw them picking up the Mystic Falls daily newspaper, which surprised me a bit-they didn't seem like people who would read the paper.

Until I realized they were looking at the job offers.

"Look" his brother pointed while Stefan took a sip from his coffee with his trembling hands. I wondered what he went through while in this cell? Did someone torture him? Or did they simply kept him in this awful place until he could be free? He still looked that strong and unbend, his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared down at the paper, as if nothing was different, as if he never tried to steal my car and never got to suffer from my stupidity. "They are looking for workers at the railroad outside town."

"Damon, I'm not working there, it will take me hours to get home after I'm done." he protested, his voice silent and very hoarse "Lexi can't stay that long at home and take care of everything." I swallowed hard-did he lose his job as well? God, was I the reason those people were struggling right now?

"Well you need something and if we can't find anything else, this will have to do." Damon sighed and gave him a stern look "You're strong, you can do this job."

"I won't get much out of it and I still have a debt to pay if you haven't forgotten" Stefan commented bluntly and tugged the paper off his brother's hand while reading carefully through the offers. Damon however continued peaking and pointing out stuff Stefan could apply for-the way they acted around each other made me smile-they looked like kids.

"Hey look at this one" Damon pointed again "They're looking for ambulance drivers at the hospital."

"Damon" Stefan shook his head and left the newspaper away just as I remembered my dad talking to one of the nurses about their lack of drivers and smiled, somehow believing that I've finally maybe got a way to help him out and fix my mistake-if he applied there, I could talk to Keith, the guy who was responsible for all the paramedics and the ambulances and convince him to choose Stefan to the others.

"What?" Damon said in disbelief "You have the first-aid training already, you can at least use it for this. It's not even a hard job and the salary is good."

"I'm tired of driving around. I just want to finish work and get back home, not stay out late at night and I go to some road outside town just because a drunken teenager hit their car in a tree."

"You should apply for this" Damon argued "It's the best one for now." he sighed as he stood up and put his hand on Stefan's shoulder

"We don't have much of a choice, Stefan. Don't make this week rougher than it is-just apply for all the things we considered good and see what happens" Stefan nodded and Damon playfully ruffled his hair before heading to the male's bathroom.

I figured this was the only opportunity I'll get, so I sheepishly stood up and approached him from behind. He didn't even acknowledged me when I sat next to him and cleared my throat-I guess he was too tired and lost in his own mind and when I touched his shoulder gently, just to bring his attention to me, he almost jumped from his seat and instantly grabbed my hand only to roughly twist it away until he realized who I was and hurried to leave me be before I could even make a sound.

"You?" he asked in disbelief and took a step back without giving me the chance to start and explain why I was here "Leave me alone." he said and was about to turn around when I finally turned out to be the faster one and stood in his way

"Wait, please" I begged

"I don't want to listen to you" he said barely audible since he didn't want to draw attention to us, but still pretty sternly. I could see the hatred in his eyes-he despised me for everything I did to him.

"I just want to apologize" I began again "I know you didn't steal my purse." I spoke the words so silently, as if I feared saying them.

"Oh yeah?" he said now sarcastically "The thing, rich girl" he bended on his last words "is that I don't want to listen to your fake apologies, because that literally doesn't make me feel any better-in fact, I feel like hell, because I spent the last two days in a cell and lost my job while you were comfortably lying in your bed." I was speechless and for a moment before we were interrupted all we did was stare at each other intensely.

"Stefan." I heard someone's harsh voice from behind me and in a minute his brother was by his side, his hand on Stefan's arm, trying to make him move over. "Come on, brother" he threw me an angry look as he gently pushed his brother to the exit. Stefan however didn't make a move.

"Accepting your apology would mean freeing you from your guilt" he commented, not even slightly irritated with me anymore-he was strangely calm and his words hurt like hell-because he was right "And I'm simply not going to do that."

"Stefan, just go" his brother was angry with him and tugged his jacket, begging him to finally leave this place.

"I just-"

"Save it, Gilbert." this time his brother was the one to cut me off and I realized his voice was just as angry as Stefan's. I wondered if it was possible for these people to hate me any more.

"I'm sure there's some charity event soon where you can donate money for some insignificant cause and make yourself feel better again. In the meantime, I and my brother are going to stay as far away from you as possible."

They left me standing there, just next to the bar, people were yelling and talking around me and I was all alone, watching the brothers leave as fast as they could, probably mentally cursing me. I noticed Damon scolding Stefan as they were walking out and I figured it had something to do with him talking to me.

If before, I was feeling bad for putting him behind bars, now I also felt guilty for leaving him without a job and making them both struggle-they did seem like people with many problems.

However, what hurt most, were their words and the realization that I'm really no better than any other spoiled founders girl in this town. I was immoral, cranky when I couldn't get what I wanted and I hardly had any idea what it was to need something and not be able to get it like those people.

And that was my punishment.

I wanted nothing more but to leave them be and never see them again, because that was their wish as well.

However, life had other plans for us.

**Stefan's POV**

"Come on, buddy, just a little bit more" I urge Joseph to keep crawling , but he stops tiredly right on my belly and stares up at me with his puppy green eyes, which makes me laugh.

I tickle him slightly to make him more lively again, but he doesn't move and just leans his head down on my chest blabbing something I can't understand, probably some complain in his baby language and I laugh once again.

It felt so good to be home and spent time with him-it was the best I've felt in months. I didn't have the opportunity to rest a lot or get free days and staying in the house, taking care of stuff these past few days, has made me realize how much I miss my son.

Damon said I shouldn't get used to the housewife lifestyle and he often mocked me when he came home after work and found me trying to cook something. I was doing relatively well in this department-Lex has taught me a bunch of stuff and even if my brother kept saying whatever I cooked was awful, I still know he liked it because he often went and filled his plate again.

Joe began chewing my shirt again-his teeth were starting to grow and he was crying so much lately that it was hard for me to calm him down. I gently pulled the cloth away and picked him up, above my head and started making him funny faces, which resulted in him smiling foolishly at me.

"Aren't you a big boy now, huh?" I asked him and put him down on my stomach "You should be sitting on your own soon, buddy." I kept talking "You're about to turn six months this week" the realization that Rebekah was gone for almost half an year now, hit me hard and I stood up with Joe in my hands and headed to the fridge to find him something to eat since I could feel he was getting restless again.

Before opening the refrigerator door, I stared at the photo of me, Bekah, Damon and _the love of his life_ from my last birthday, just when I've turned seventeen. I had no idea that a month later Rebekah would be already pregnant, I surely had no idea an year later, she would be dead.

I was smiling-genuinely. I was happily staring at the cake Lexi has made for me, my brother has hugged his girl with one hand and put his other one on my shoulder, gripping it in a supportive way, while Bekah was giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Look how beautiful your momma is here, huh Joe?" I asked him and pointed at the photo.

My boy was indifferent to this however and this time stuck his hand in his mouth and let an annoyed hungry grunt out-he was too impatient to pay any attention to me.

Just when I was finally about to do what I've come from, I heard the doorbell ring and sighed annoyed.

With Joe still in my hands I went to open up, thinking it could be Lexi, who always stopped by after work to check up on us. My brother had five more hours until his shift was over, so I knew it couldn't be him.

When I finally opened up, slightly annoyed I spoke up before actually realizing who was standing right before me:

"Lexi, you know you could've-" and then I just stopped, because the petite dark-haired girl staring at me with a big confused smile and worried eyes, was surely no one I expected to see after almost an year absence. I furrowed my eyebrows and was seconds away from just closing the door and dumping her outside, but something inside me broke when I heard her voice

"Hey, Stefan" she said and looked down at my son, who was still oblivious to everything happening around him.

The girl, who used to be one of my closest friends and the love of Damon's life has left us during one of the most difficult moments in our lives and now was simply smiling at me. She was smiling?

After everything she did.

"Bonnie" I let an angry sigh out.

She was the last person I wanted to see.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry that I didn't update earlier, I was sick and right now I don't have a PC so it's pretty hard for me to write and find where to write it on. I know many of you wanted Elena to just go and free him, but I couldn't make this happen, because I needed him to have some difficult time with Enzo, which later on will be important and could possibly bring him trouble. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Damon's POV**

It was too cold outside while I was getting home this evening and I hoped Stefan was smart enough to bring woods and set the fireplace, so he and Joe would be okay. I knew perfectly well that if the kid wasn't with him, he would remain curled up in the blankets on the couch and stare at the TV until he falls asleep and stops feeling like he's freezing.

I've been kind of worried about him this whole past week after I picked him up from the station—he was a bit nervous when it came to him finding a good job and I was trying hard to comfort him-he went to a bunch of interviews and I was hoping that when I get back home tonight, he'll welcome me with the good news that at least someone from the factories or this rail road job called, otherwise the next week would be a disaster for the three of us.

There were honestly some days when I asked myself how to we manage to survive. If it wasn't for Lexi, we probably would've been starving every other day-she was always so concerned about us and sometimes she acted as if she's my wife and not our neighbor and best friend.

She and I-we fought a lot, mainly about stupid things and just because we enjoyed teasing each other. Last week, when things went wrong with Stefan, was the first time in months we didn't joke or yelled at each other, simply because there were more important things to think about. We were worried like hell and when he came back so tired, with his hands bruised and his eyes full of unshed tears, we figured the situation was pretty serious. I still had no idea how we'll pay that debt back. There was some property we could sell, some fields out of Mystic Falls which we owned, but the truth was, I wanted to keep those lands-it was the only thing we had from our parents, the only thing we could use when we hit rock bottom and the only thing that one day we could use in a smart way. Like maybe one of us could built a house or something else there-I just didn't feel right selling it now, but if Stefan gets threatened again, which could be very soon, I won't really have any other choice.

I heard Joe's cry from the front porch, if you can even call this a porch. He's been quite the mess lately, with his teeth growing and him waking us up in the middle of the night. Stefan was the one to always deal with him, but there were a few nights when I got up as well and went to help him since the kid was giving him hell. Stefan never got mad, however-he was extremely patient and he only wanted to ease Joe's pain. He would sing to him or make me help him distract the kid and smile or do funny faces.

My brother was a smart kid. He knew well enough, that I'm hurting in my own way after my heart got broken all those months ago. He was doing everything he could to distract me and he was succeeding. Even though, I was drowning myself in work, the only thing I was looking forward to, was coming home to them. I was such a pain in the ass-I constantly whined about Joe and how he never stops crying and at times, I was extremely pissed off and yelled at Stefan, because I couldn't get enough sleep and I was so cranky, I got it all out on him. There were times, when I hurt him so much with my words, that I brought tears to his eyes or made him go to Lexi's for the night just so he wouldn't have to get into a fight with me. But the truth was-I was just bitter and angry at myself for everything that happened to me. Stefan never did anything wrong, on the contrary-he was the person I leaned on and even if it might seem like it's the other way around, the truth is, he's the stronger one.

"Stefaaan!"I yell from the door and he appears with a crying Joe in his hands "What's going on, brother?"

"He's just cranky, he didn't sleep good this afternoon" Stefan explains apologetically as I make my way towards them and stretch my hands

"Give this little troublemaker to me" I say with a sigh and Stefan hands him before placing a kiss on his forehead first. Joe curled up in my embrace and stared at his father who handed me a beer from the fridge the moment I finally sat on the couch-he knew me too well for his own good.

"What's up?" I ask, but Stefan doesn't respond. Instead he puts the plates on the table and fills it with some meal Lexi probably brought with herself today when she came to see them. My brother seems a bit too distracted than usually and that's how I know something's not right

"Did they not call for any of the jobs again?" I try my luck, thinking that I'll probably be right, but he shakes his head as he turns around and leans on the kitchen plot, staring at me and Joe, who's no longer crying but already falling asleep in my embrace, which hasn't happened in quite some time.

"Actually they did." he responds with a fake smile and hurries to look back at his feet "The hospital is going to hire me. My first shift starts tomorrow. "

"Really?" I ask enthusiastically and stand up to greet him, but Joe wakes up from my abrupt movements and starts whining silently again, which is why I hand him back to Stefan, who puts the brown teddy bear I brought him a few months back, in his hands and Joe's attention is captured by it for a few precious minutes. "I'm so glad you accepted, Stefan."

"There wasn't really any choice" he sighs and sits back on the table, while staring at his full plate, obviously thinking of something else

"Okay, cut the crap already" I say abruptly and lean on the table "What the hell is going on?"

"Bonnie Bennett came by today" he spilled out and gave me a sheepish look before moving his green eyes to Joe

"What?" I asked confused and slowly sat down "What did you just say?" Bonnie Bennett was the love of my sad miserable life. She was younger than me, I still can't figure out how things between us happened-she was just seventeen when we first met three years ago at this party of one of my closest at the time friends. I was convinced I'll marry her one day, actually I was about to propose the night she cut me lose and admitted she got accepted in college and she'll be leaving in two weeks. At first, she didn't even want to go to college, she has found a job she was about to start here, we were going to move in together, I planned on even taking Stefan with us to another place or convince her to join us in this house and help us make it look better-we had everything, we were happy. To this day, I can't figure out what I did wrong, where I messed things up, what made her tell me she's not cut out for this life, that she wants to try college, be like her friends-she wanted more out of life and she didn't want to be stick with a poor orphan boy, who worked in the factory, earning minimum wage.

"She dropped out of college" Stefan was spiteful now, his voice was angry, I could feel it. When she left me, she didn't just let me go-she completely broke me. If Rebekah's death shattered my brother, Bonnie's leaving completely ruined me-I became a whining mess, which Stefan had to constantly deal with. In the beginning I was a very ugly picture indeed-Stefan actually had to come and get me out of fights with random drunk people or drag my lifeless body all the way home while I puked in his shoes. "Or at least that's what I gathered from Lexi."

"Lexi? Lexi hates her guts ever since she left" Stefan impatiently shook his head and shrugged his shoulders

"Yeah, but you know the girls-gossips and all those things. As far as I know they haven't met personally."

"What did you do?" I asked confused, wondering how he must've react

"I practically slammed the door at her face. She kept ringing, but I just got back inside."

"Stefan.." I sighed and he immediately got mad. He was pissed off at Bonnie for shattering my whole world, even though before he always said she was like the sister he never had. She cared for him deeply as well, she always claimed Rebekah wasn't the right girl for him, but he never listened.

"Oh, no, Damon" he began and Joe stopped his unpleasant whimpers and looked up at his angry father "You don't get to judge me about anything I did. This girl left you! You were soon to propose to her, you wanted to start a life with her and then after all her lies that she has no intentions of going to college, she suddenly comes out here with her acceptance letter and says goodbye!"

"And now she dropped out!" I raised my voice as well and poured myself some bourbon. I was mad at her-it wasn't supposed to be like this-yes, she broke my heart, yes, she left me, but she should've continued studying, after all the work she's done, it was so stupid to just do this. It wasn't like her and I wondered what has happened. Suddenly, the only thing I wanted to do was go to her house and yell at her for everything she did and just giving up on her future like this, but as soon as Stefan read my thoughts he put his hand on my shaking one and calmly said

"Don't do anything stupid, brother. She doesn't deserve you. She made her choice."

"I know" I whispered sadly and looked down confused after slipping my hand away, feeling uncomfortable. "I need to stretch my legs" I announced as I passed by him and Joe and squeezed his shoulder

"Damon, please" he begged, feeling where this was going "Don't get yourself drunk. I'm working tomorrow. Someone needs to take care of Joe"

"Don't worry" I promised "I'll be back in a hour." I playfully ruffled his hair and kissed Joe on the forehead before picking up my jacket and slamming the back door. I felt like I was suffocating and after I lost more than half an hour in the local pub, I walked to her house, staggering, barely making my way there. I didn't knock, didn't make any attempt to announce my presence, but I saw her in their living room, her mother hugging her tightly-she was crying about something. Her unpacked luggage was on the couch and I hurried to hide behind one of the trees on their street before she's got the chance to notice me.

Seeing her made my heart ache.

But I knew Stefan was right-she made her choice.

She left me behind without thinking twice. I was the one who stayed and went through hell while she went to college parties and did God know what.

I was feeling extremely desperate that night and I kept wandering the streets trying to feel less drunk, so that I wouldn't worry Stefan when I get back home. I couldn't get rid of the image of the tears streaming down her face tonight, the way her beautiful hair was falling down her shoulders, her mother sweetly rubbing her back and all the memories of me having her in my embrace got back, the sweet small kisses she left on my chest in my dark cold room under the heavy blankets, the childish naïve way she spoke sometimes, which always made me laugh even if I've had the worst day.

I had to forget about her-it's been more than a year since she left.

And it still felt like yesterday.

When I got back home, I found Stefan sleeping on the kitchen couch again, next to Joe's crib. He was tossing and turning, obviously having a bad dream and when I finally managed to wake him up after gripping his shoulder and calling his name, he yelled out Rebekah's name and stood up abruptly. Sweat was coming down his face and for a moment we stared at each other, both realizing how ruined we were from love. He could smell my bourbon breath and scolded me silently, in his quite, still shaken from his awful dreams way, then I helped him stand up and left him splashing water on his face at the sink while I went to my own room, feeling lonelier than ever.

**Stefan's POV**

My first day as an ambulance driver for the Mystic Falls hospital began slowly and before we had our first call for the morning, I was still doubting my decision to take this job in the first place. There wasn't really anything else I could do, though-it was the only place I applied for that actually called me back and Damon said it's way more decent workplace than any of my previous ones. For some unknown reason, however, I couldn't help but feel wrong-this place was enormous and it made me feel quite uncomfortable. As the city grew over the years, more people from the smaller places near Mystic Falls came to live here and look for a place to work at and as a result the city has doubled its population, since Damon and I were kids.

Not that I had anything against that-it was just there were so many doctors and sick people here, that I couldn't fight the sadness that consumed me every time I walked through the main gates. They've hired five more drivers that day and they explained us the basics and how a normal day here looks like. After the first few calls that we got, the paramedics I worked with-Trevor and Henry, said I was the best driver they had in years and even showed off to their colleagues, which made me feel strange since I was never praised for doing anything. I was only good at boxing and I've stopped doing this more than a year ago.

Anyway, it was a hectic job, but I can't say I hated it and it was actually way easier than I initially thought it would be-I knew the town streets extremely well and I didn't waste any time with driving around and trying to figure out where the address they were calling us to could be. They were treating me as a kid, though and they did try to ask me why am I not going to school and was working instead, but I managed to dodge their questions and show them that I wasn't really up to talking or bonding with anyone. Most of them were nice, though-that wasn't the problem, it was watching people's blood spilling on the street in an accident or go to a house and try to help someone who collapsed on the floor. By the middle of the shift, I was feeling too tired and was trying hard to forget all the horrible things I had to seen today, even though half the time, they've made me wait for them in the ambulance. I wondered how I'll deal from now on, but I knew I didn't really have any other choice.

I had an angry heartbroken brother at home and a kid who needed to be raised properly so I had to man up and do what I was supposed to do.

I had just about an hour left till my shift was over when we got back in the hospital and walked straight inside since it was raining. I took down my wet blue jacket with the red cross on the right sleeve and the Mystic Falls hospital sign on the other when I heard the others talking loudly and calling Trevor and Henry to come to the south wing, because some patient's relative was causing troubles and the guards were on some other floor right now.

I ran with them and in a minute we ended up in a hallway I've never been to before. There was this man yelling at the doctors but I couldn't see them well and before I even managed to react I saw Trevor running to him, talking, trying to reason with a guy who looked in his mid- thirties, but before he could even finish his sentence the man pushed him away.

Without even thinking twice, I ran to the man, took his hand and twisted it behind his back.

"Hey, hey, calm down now. They're only trying to help you." I said and when I finally looked before me I realized the people standing there, staring so helplessly and confused were Elena and her father.

Deep down I immediately regretted my decision, but then again I had to intervene, there was no other option, I couldn't let this idiot push the people I just started working with.

"They're giving up on my wife!" he yelled as he tried to get away from me, but my grip was strong and I realized that maybe I haven't lost my shape after all since I was still strong enough to stop a man twice my age. "You're killing her" he yelled at them and I watched Gilbert approach him slowly, trying to reason with him once again

"Sir, we're doing everything we can, but-"

"You're not doing anything!" the guy yelled yet again and his desperate voice echoed through the hallway, I tightened my grip even more and took his other hand as well, though he was still desperately trying to get away from me, he couldn't. "She's dying!"

"Hey, listen to me" I tried to bring his attention back to me. I knew how he felt after all-I've lost the love of my life as well

"I get how you feel, I really do, but you need to stop yelling and blaming the people who are doing everything they can to save your wife, okay?" I felt him relaxing a bit, but the anger inside him was so strong, it was terrifying. It's sad how mad we turn once we lose the only thing in our lives that matters most. I remember being such a jackass with Damon when I lost Rebekah-I was taking everything out on him, because I wanted her back and realizing that it was impossible, made me feel like a prisoner in my own body. There were days, when I just wanted to die as well, because I thought it will be better for Joe not to have a father than watching the broken person that I was.

I looked at Elena. I don't know why I shifted my attention to her. There wasn't really any reason for me to do so, but maybe deep down I was afraid this guy could hurt someone here in his desperation and maybe somewhere deep inside before I could even realize what he was doing, I was aware that he might slip away from me and when he did, I was fast enough to grip his hand again and pin him to the wall.

I don't know why no one was intervening, I was strong, but I wasn't that strong. And just when the guy was about to punch me in the ribs someone else caught his hand and stuck a needle in his arm. It took me a second to realize it was Grayson Gilbert.

"Thank you" he nodded as he and one of the nurses took to man to the room next to us. I couldn't really believe he was thanking me. There was still this anger in his eyes, though-he didn't want to say the words, but he had no choice-there were too many people staring at us, waiting for him to react and he couldn't just say I was a criminal who tried to steal his daughter's car. I am sure, he wasn't glad I was here and that probably meant I will have to avoid him at all costs.

I knew he was a good person, but I guess he had his morals, his own idea of what a person should be and because he never had to deal with the things Damon and I did, he didn't know how hard it was to fix your problems when you don't have money.

"Good job, Stefan" Trevor patted me on the shoulder and brought me back to reality. I smiled politely and when I turned around in order to follow him, I almost bumped into her.

She was staring at me with her big brown doe eyes, still looking scared and for a moment there I even let myself feel bad for her, until I realized that she locked me up in a cell for two days and caused me more troubles than I could even ask for.

I don't know why I didn't think twice before taking this job-I knew her father worked here and judging by the way she was dressed, she was helping him, probably preparing herself for following in his footsteps and becoming the best doctor this town had.

"Stefan" she said my name slowly, silently, as if she wanted us two to be the only two people who can hear her speak. I don't know why she was worried-everything in the hallway was back to normal-doctors, nurses and regular people were passing by us and yet there she stood, trying to figure out what to say when I don't think it was necessary for her to even do so.

I tried surpassing her after furrowing my eyebrows at her but she was faster and stood before me yet again. I couldn't figure why she was so bend on talking to me.

"Are you following me or what?" I was stunned. She had the nerve to talk to me like she owned this place?

"I work here now" I continued in the same calm but still spiteful way "There are normal people like me who don't have rich parents and still have to do this you know?"

"I can't believe you" she raised her voice but just a bit "Do you ever stop and think that you can't judge everyone before knowing them?" I was about to interrupt her but she was just too full of anger and talked too fast "And do I need to remind you that you tried to steal my car?" I shook my head and figured I just have to leave. I couldn't understand her-one time she's apologizing about what she did, the next one she was blaming me for going to work just because she comes here to play good daughter?

"How about _I remind_ you instead that you got me behind bars for something, which after all I didn't do?" she took a step back and I realized we were too close to each other so I pulled back abruptly and when I looked in her eyes I realized there was this different light in them-she felt guilty for what she did to me, yet she was too pride to admit it once again so she just preferred bashing on me.

"Get over yourself, you did something wrong and you know it" she hissed and I knew perfectly well why she was reacting like this-I've hit the right spot and pissed her off.

"Okay, then I'm a bad person." I admitted as I shrugged my shoulders and took another step back "At least I'm not denying it like you do." as I smirked, I walked away, leaving her standing confused in the hallway.

I could feel her eyes on my back-she hated me. And that's all I wanted.

**Elena's POV**

I couldn't believe this guy. He was such a show-off who thought everyone else besides him were simply wrong and don't deserve his attention in any way.

After that night at the Grill I felt so angry when I got home-I've tried to apologize and all he did was make me feel even worse, but when back then there was sadness and despair in his eyes, now I could only see hatred and despise. That's how I felt towards him as well. I was wrong-there wasn't anything good in him. Maybe back then when I saw him after he has gotten out of the station, he was simply too tired to fight me in any way and that's why I felt so bad for doing this to him, but the more I talked to him, the more I realized that my father was right all along-he deserved what he got.

Yet life kept throwing me from one side to the other-here I was hating him all afternoon, thinking about how awful, stupid and cocky he was and then by the end of my shift, when I went to the paramedics office, I heard him talking to the head of the paramedics department, asking if he can change his shifts and not work late in the evenings.

"Please, sir, I really need to get home before midnight" he was begging and I knew it was pointless-he was a new guy, he had no right to ask for those things. His voice so much different from when he spoke to me earlier-he was silent, sad and patient or maybe it was because he so desperately needed this out of some reason.

"I'm sorry, Stefan." the man said and didn't even lift his look up, he was buried in some documents and wasn't paying any attention to the boy with the blond hair at all. "I can't change the schedule, not now."

"But, sir I just-"

"I can't." he cut him off and nodded to the half-opened door. "You can switch places with someone else from time to time, but I can't do what you ask me for. Why do you want to switch shifts so much anyway? Are you not sure you want this job?"

"It's nothing like this, sir" Stefan assured and I leaned even closer so I could hear them better "It's just that I have to get home to someone who needs me. "

"Everybody needs somebody, son." the guy shrugged his shoulders and leaned back on his chair, trying to show him that the conversation is over "You're free to go now."

I hurried to hide in the room with the medical supplies before he got out angrily of the office and went down the hallway to the lockers where he would change and leave.

I hid there for the next twenty minutes and when I finally got out, I saw him walking slowly outside in the heavy rain and I don't know why but for a moment there I felt bad for him again and wondered who was he so desperate to come home to except from his brother and that beautiful blond girl-it just didn't make much sense to me.

Then again, it was none of my business. I just had to come to terms with the fact, that I would be seeing him a lot more often than before. And us fighting every day would either make me hate him more or help me understand his logic, in which I wasn't at all interested right now. There were moments back then when I thought he was a different guy, even though he was doing bad things-after all he helped my father today-that guy could've made way more troubles if Stefan hadn't intervened-I realized that but so did he, yet he didn't make a big deal out of it.

However, from everything I've seen from him by now, I guessed he might decide to save it and use it against me some other day-just because he despised me.

That wasn't the worst thing though-I could live with us fighting like cat and dog whenever I was in the hospital. It was the fact that I hated myself for being so cynical and spoiled all the time that was bothering me.

I was spiteful because he was telling the truth in my eyes all this time-he might be a bad person, but he's not trying to cover it while here I was-living in this beautiful lie.

**Stefan's POV**

The minute I opened the front door and yelled my brother's name, but didn't get a response, I knew something wasn't right. The light coming from the kitchen was telling me he must be in there with Joseph, but when I finally got there, I needed a minute to realize who was sitting on the table next to my tired from the work brother and a worried sitting on the couch Lexi, cautiously staring at me, trying to calm me down with a single gaze since she knew perfectly well I've already got angry.

"Enzo." I said his name, trying to hide my confusion. My brother was sitting on his usual spot on the table, his bourbon glass empty while his ex-best friend, dressed in his police uniform gave me a wide devilish smile "What on earth are you doing here?"

"Stefan" my brother tried to make me calm down with a single stare. There was something bad going on here and I threw a glance at Joe's crib, only to notice him peacefully sleeping there.

"Hello there, Stefan" Enzo stood up and approached me "How nice of you to came back home just when I was passing by."

"What do you want?" I said through teeth and my brother stood up abruptly as well feeling the tension in the room change in matter of minutes

"How do you even dare come here after what you did?" I wondered how come Damon didn't just slam the door at his face, considering how pissed off he was when I got back home and told him what his buddy has done to me. If Enzo was here, it meant he threatened Damon somehow, so he would let him in and I wondered how long has he been here before I came in. There was fear in my brother's eyes-I don't know if he was aware why Enzo was here or not, but he was strangely cautious and my brother..oh well, Damon was never afraid of anything.

"You have a nice little home" Enzo turned around and approached my son's crib "A bit too wrecked for my taste, but still..I guess it's okay for the people like you and your brother."

I went by my son's side instinctively and Damon just turned around but didn't move towards us at all. Lexi was still staring at us intensely, wondering what was happening and I nodded to her, trying to tell her she should leave, but she didn't move, probably because of Joe-after Rebekah died, she was the only motherly figure he had in his life, she loved him too much to leave him in a moment like this and I silently thanked her for that.

"Not for a kid though" he looked back down to my son, who was sleeping on his belly, his favorite teddy bear resting just above his head-he had the tendency to chew it sometimes in the middle of the night and I had to stand up and make sure he doesn't end up eating the damn thing.

"Stop with the games, Enzo" my brother finally intervened and stood on the other side of the crib, also desperate to protect his nephew if necessary. "You can't come to our house and act like you own the place, especially not after what you did to my brother and even though once I considered you a friend, that wouldn't stop me from kicking you out of here right now."

"You're right, I don't own the place" Enzo said calmly "But I can take the most precious thing you have here." he nodded down at Joe and looked back at me

"Here's the thing. You refused to cooperate last week and honestly" he furrowed his eyebrows, his voice was strangely unfamiliar and cold "You pissed me off, Stefan. I need someone to tell me everything that's going on in John Avery's life so I can crush him, yet you turned out to be stubborn and that caused me troubles until I remembered that I have a good friend in Child services who can come here any minute now and conclude that this is not a healthy environment for a baby." I clenched my fists and was minutes away from punching him but I felt Lexi's hand catching my wrist and pushing me back.

"You're a kid, a teenager, who has no education and is barely providing for him, you don't have a stable job and you can't give him everything he needs."

I didn't know what to say, so instead I just acted out by catching his shirt and pulling him closer to me-I was seconds away from turning this into a fight until he spoke up again.

"In other words" he smirked, not even slightly bothered by my actions "I can take your child away whenever I feel like it and there's nothing you can do." then he calmly put his hand on mine and removed them from his shirt -I let go of him when I felt my brother's hand on my shoulder

"Just tell us what you want and get out of here" Damon hissed and stood right by my side-now wishing he could protect me, even though he knew perfectly well he can't do anything.

Enzo moved away from Joseph and I finally sighed, feeling a little bit more relived once he was no longer anywhere near my boy.

"Here's the deal" he crossed his arms and leaned on the kitchen plot, making himself at home-he really did act like he owned the place

"I did some digging and I found out you were the best boxer the Mystic Falls high school has ever had" he looked me in the eyes, his once calm and full of light brown gaze was now giving me chills

"Three first prizes at the local competitions and you almost went to nationals last year, right?" I didn't confirm his information, because I was still angry that he dared to threaten me or my son. He knew perfectly well how to make me agree-he was aware I would never let anyone take my son away from me.

"John Avery on the other hand doesn't only deal with stolen cars as you might now. He likes to organize this underground boxing matches where people make bets on who will win."

"No!" Damon interrupted him "Stefan is not getting himself into this."

"Brother" I said warningly, trying to make him shut up before Enzo has done anything else to surprise us tonight. I wasn't losing my son-I would fight if I have to, but I'm not losing him. "Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

"Sefan!" Lexi's untypically silent voice finally echoed through the kitchen but I didn't pay any attention to her warnings or the way my brother was gripping my shoulder in this demanding way like I have to shut up and stop talking any minute now.

"I assume next week one of his guys will come to ask for you to pay the debt once again. You'll convince him that you can play well enough to win Avery money and pay everything you owe him back by participating in those games. My guy under cover there tells me he wants new fighters anyway-he'll take you right in."

"I haven't played in months. I don't think I'm that good anymore."

"Then you'll get good. I don't give a damn what it takes you Stefan-I need to catch this guy and you'll help me or I'll take your son away without thinking twice."

I nodded, trying very hard to contain myself from just kicking him out here already.

"Enzo, don't do this" my brother's voice has changed now "He's just seventeen."

"It's okay, I'll do whatever you ask for as long as you stay away from us all." I interrupted my brother before he could continue trying to talk Enzo out of this. We weren't on the winning side here-we had no other choice.

And I was sick of not having a choice in this life.

I was sick of fighting so hard all the time.

Enzo left twenty minutes later after he gave me the main details.

I had two weeks to get myself in shape so I could go to some old dusty warehouse and fight for the entertainment of others, because I couldn't let them take my son away from me.

Damon, Lexi and I didn't catch any sleep that night. First we fought and I knew we were doing this simply because they were afraid I would get hurt. Then Damon swore he'll get it back at Enzo for doing this to us and finally Lexi cried because she knew perfectly well that the mess I've got myself into could have a terrible ending.

And there I stood, all evening, next to my son's crib. Afraid that someone could come and take him away, if I fall asleep.

I had a nightmare that I lost the first match and Enzo came to take Joseph away. I woke my son with my yells and it took me another half an hour to calm him down.

My hands were trembling with fear while I held him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry for the delay, it's just I'm too busy with college work lately. Enjoy! If you have any question you can find me on twitter-Flowing_lantern**


	6. Chapter 6

**Elena's POV**

I was staring at the exit glass doors, observing impatiently all the ambulance drivers and the paramedics talking to each other before their next shift was about to start. Stefan was nowhere to be seen for now and I guess that gave me some time to gather myself together, before stepping outside.

My brilliant father decided it would be nice for me to go on a few rounds with the paramedics, practice some with them, it would be good for me, I could develop my skills, though I guess deep down he just had the need to get rid of me for a while since I've been helping him for weeks now and honestly-I had the tendency to drive him insane sometimes. He never yelled or argued, but simply explained patiently when he had the time, now I knew that he would have some pretty important surgeries coming up and he didn't need any distractions, which is why he ended up telling me I'll be with the paramedics this whole week.

Which wasn't at all bad, if I have to be honest-I welcomed the opportunity with opened arms.

I was feeling bored these past two weeks, Stefan's been barely showing up inside the hospital and I didn't have the chance to talk to him even once, the procedures my father was preforming were dull, I knew it all by heart, school was making me feel sick and if it wasn't for some party here and there, which I've lost interested in doing anymore as well, I guess I would've pretty much died from boredom.

Nothing in life excited me much and I kept wondering why is that.

Something must've been extremely wrong with me.

Which is why I was excited when my father came up with this idea of me helping the paramedics.

Until I found out that no one was really up for having an untrained spoiled teenager who likes to play doctor in their ambulance. So of course, my father had to make someone take me in-and he chose all the wrong people-Trevor and Henry.

Honestly-they were the best paramedics the hospital had-they were kind, patient, I knew they would show me everything I need to know and they won't yell at me like the nurses or the other doctors who weren't my father, did sometimes.

There was only one problem, though. Stefan was their driver. And I despised the idea of having to spend time with him-I even tried to make my father change his mind, assure him that I could use a week off from the hospital, but he seemed relentless and he said things are already arranged and it was hard for him to make someone agree, so I had to go.

I watched as the last ambulance parked in front of the entrance and Henry and Trevor popped up from the back smiling at the rest of the guys out there who welcomed them warmly. Stefan joined them and I took a minute to observe him, wondering how come he seemed so much different from the guy who began working here two weeks ago.

Someone passed him a coffee and he accepted it with a big smile on his face-he seemed tired, his posture was a bit bended, his shoes were untied, his jacket wasn't zipped and I could see the nice blue shirt under it-he has barely buttoned it and the whole way he was wearing his clothes suggested he's a person, who doesn't care much about how he looks, but I guess that was his charm-this whole bad boy posture, his messy clothes and ruffled hair-for the first time I made the realization he looks like a boy my age.

He stood a little bit afar from everyone else, but he was listening to them and was either smiling or frowning at what they were talking, but he never joined them. He was good to everyone and he did whatever he could to appear as a lonely, silent person. He didn't fit there. Most of the guys were in their mid- twenties or mid-thirties, even the newly hired drivers-he was nothing but a boy.

I waited until most of the paramedics got calls and hopped up in their trucks before I walked out and carefully approached them.

"Elena!" Trevor welcomed me with a big smile "We're excited to have you with us this week." when he said so Stefan choked on his coffee and spilled almost half of it. Both Trevor and Henry frowned at him and he turn his back on us while cleaning up the mess he's made since he obviously stained his shirt.

"Obviously not all of you" I said calmly, trying to hide the bitterness in my voice as I watched Stefan angrily throw his empty cup in the bin while still staring down at his already way too dirty shirt.

"Forgive, Stefan" Henry said apologetically "He's been working for sixteen hours and he's cranky."

"I'm not at all cranky" Stefan protested and avoided my look

"No, you just wish you could be home, curled up in the couch, eating pizza and drinking beer while watching the game." Trevor put his arm over his neck and pulled him to his chest. It took me just a few minutes to figure that these guys like to joke with him since he was the youngest-they poked him, kicked him playfully-he was like a little brother they got to torture and they enjoyed it.

"That's what you want, Trevor!" Stefan spilled out when he finally pulled away and brought his attention back to me

"I just didn't know we need to babysit this week." oh so he wanted to be mean, that's easy for me, I could be mean, especially with him. He inspired the devils inside me.

"I think you're the one who needs babysitting" I spat out and stared down at the stains on his shirt, which got him angry and he grunted before speaking up. However, our fight was interrupted by Henry's radio and the dispatch's high-pitched voice announcing we need to get going. All of a sudden, I felt nervous and when Henry helped me get in the back with him while Stefan and Trevor hopped up on the front seats, I was already trying hard to stop my hands from trembling so much.

"Light it up, Stefan" Trevor yelled once we've all settled and in a minute we were driving off the hospital parking in an unbelievable high speed, which made me feel even more sick than I already was.

"Slow down, she might puke before we get to make our first round!" Henry yelled at Stefan, who however didn't pay any attention to him at all and I felt like a child, who needed protection, which made me angry. I could see his hands on the steering wheel, he seemed serious now, the careless boy I saw minutes ago was gone and he was paying attention to everything around him, driving fast, but still careful, I doubt he listened much to us anyway.

"It's fine" I tried to assure him calmly and heard Stefan laugh from the front seat, thinking he already turned out to be right about me being a spoiled rich girl, who couldn't even endure one ride with them.

"I'm sorry, he drives way too fast when he's been working for too long." he stretched his hand and pulled me to his side so of the ambulance so I could have something to lean on to if I needed so

"Remind me again, why are you taking three shifts in a roll?" Henry yelled a half angrily, half-worriedly at Stefan, who didn't even consider he was driving human beings and not a bag of potatoes.

"Because I have something to do on Friday!" Stefan finally spoke up, just after he made an awful right turn and lead us out of the center

"This means a date if you don't know!" Trevor yelled and we all laughed but Stefan remained serious and threw his buddy an angry glance, which caused Trevor to feel a bit bad once he realized he approached an uncomfortable subject "What? Am I not right?"

Stefan just grunted unpleasantly and made another awful turn and for a moment there I thought we'll end up somewhere on the road outside the damn ambulance, but we didn't.

"Come on, Stefan!" Henry yelled, his voice cheerful again, I wondered how those people didn't pay attention to the fact he was driving like crazy "You're seventeen! You can admit it-you probably have some hot date and you'll charm your way in her life. "

"Eighteen!" Stefan yelled form the front and I once again asked myself why do those people yell all the time? Can't they just talk normally?

"What?" Henry managed to gather himself faster than I did after those awful few turns we made. I knew we would probably soon be there at the speed he was driving with and I was trying hard not to think of when I'll have to jump off this thing and suddenly start helping them save someone's life.

"I'm almost eighteen" Stefan explained calmly and gave Henry a grumpy expression "I'll turn it soon enough"

Both Henry and Trevor started talking at the same time, somehow scolding him about not telling them.

"Why are you talking about it as if it's not a big deal! Oh God, when I was eighteen life was sweet and happy."

"What difference does it make anyway?" Stefan shrugged his shoulders "Nothing will really change" he said the last sadness with some kind of sadness in his voice, as if he's tired of going on and living like this.

"It's your eighteen birthday!" Trevor slapped him on the shoulder "It's a big thing, Stefan! You're growing up!"

"I did that a few years back actually." Stefan continued joking and finally stopped in front of the house. Henry picked up the first aid kit and made me take a few other stuff in hand while Trevor has already hopped up of his place and came by to open the doors for us

"Stefan, stay in here and don't fall asleep please!" he yelled, but Stefan just waved annoyed and said to radio him if we need his help. "Five bucks he will be napping by the time we're back" he then turned to Henry, who laughed loud and refused to bet since he was sure Stefan would be snoring in the truck.

"It's a gun wound, Elena" Trevor warned me "Things like this often happen in this neighborhood" I swallowed hard, not because I was afraid of what we'll see, but because I recognized the place from when my father and me drove here more than a week ago with dad when we went to take Stefan from his house-it was only two blocks away from here. I think that's why he's been so grumpy while driving-I wondered if he's afraid of something bad happening to him or his brother.

God, why was I even thinking about this anyway-I didn't care about him.

Everything in this house was a big mess. Nothing was like what happens in the hospital-there they just drive you the person, the paramedics have already threated them to some extent-here I had to watch Trevor and Henry act as complete professionals, while I continued freaking out behind them. They were nice to me and only asked me to hand things over, but still I managed to stain my shirt with blood and for some reason as we stood up after they've stabilized the patient, who was by the way a sixteen-year-old boy, my legs were slightly trembling and I had a hard time following them.

Trevor noticed my confusion and put his hand on my shoulder supportively-the boy's mother was crying somewhere behind us and when we finally made it out their neighbors were peeking up from the windows curiously.

I was feeling sick for some reason.

I don't know why, I've never felt sick from the sight of blood before.

When we finally made it to the truck we found Stefan talking to some people-a man and a little girl, no more than three or four years old. I noticed he leaned down and handed her a lollipop-she smiled and gave him a hug, while the father thanked him with a wide smile after he patted him friendly on the shoulder. I don't know why but the only thing I could concentrate on was how kind and peaceful he appeared to be in that moment.

Trevor yelled at him, because we needed to go and in a few minutes he was driving us off this awful place. On our way back he was still driving fast, but somehow he was more careful on the road, probably because there was a sick person with us in the back. I was still trying to concentrate hard in order to stop myself from puking and I could hear them talking, but I couldn't distinguish their words.

"Stefan, easy on the turns. Elena doesn't seem really good" I heard Trevor yelling, but I still didn't move from the position I was in, leaned back and with my eyes closed.

"What, princess Elena is ready to give up already?" he responded, but I didn't have the time to argue with him right now, even though his words pissed me off. I was just afraid that if I open my mouth I might just as well collapse and they'll have to help me instead of the person lying right before us. Maybe it was the fact that he's just a kid and something so terrible happened to him that shattered me or maybe it was because I was realizing I have no idea if my mom would cry for me like this woman was crying for her child.

They didn't say anything else until we finally arrived-I know Stefan was driving fast, but I felt like I've been in this damn ambulance for more than an hour already.

"You did good." Trevor assured me while they were driving the boy in and I only nodded slightly, impatient for them to disappear behind the doors. I felt my whole body shaking so I hurried to get inside and rushed to the bathroom only to end up puking in the toilet.

For some reason, I was also crying and as I brushed away my tears, I prayed no one ever decided to come in this bathroom and see me like this-Grayson Gilbert's daughter who was always so confident and loved by the nurses was a crying mess after the first round with the paramedics-my father would be so ashamed of me -that was all I could think of until I heard someone pushing the door and mentally cursed whoever it was.

"Hey!" his voice surprised me and I pushed away from the sink only to realize he was a few feet away from me. His shirt was still stained with the coffee like mine- with blood

"If you're here to continue mocking me, please go" I cut him off, my voice hoarse. He felt uncomfortable, I could see how confused he suddenly became

"Look, it's okay. I puked the first time I was with them as well" he said, sounding somehow kinder, it was nothing like before while he was joking with me in the ambulance. But I couldn't speak up, I couldn't even be mean to him right now, simply because I was shaking so hard and I could feel the tears in my eyes, desperate to find their way down my cheeks. I hated myself in this moment-I didn't want him to see me cry, he was the person I hated most right now, the last one I wanted to come in the bathroom.

I looked away and bowed my head down, staring at my feet, trying to calm myself, though the only thing I could see was the boy's blood spilling on the floor, all I could hear was his mother's cries.

I guess that's why I was so surprised to feel his body so close to me. When I realize the water is on I still don't look up, but when I feel his cold hand gently touching my face and washing away the tears I'm surprised and I even slightly jump, but his other hand is on my waist so there's nowhere I can move.

I can't open my eyes-I'm afraid of seeing the look on his face-I was sure he'll judge me or that there will be a satisfied smile on his face, just because he would be right about me, so I decide to just let him do whatever it was he's doing without really thinking about the reason behind his actions. There's this tenderness in his moves and for a moment his fingers are no longer that cold-I feel like a child being nursed. Just like when dad used to wash my face after I've fought with my brother over something stupid and he's made me cry.

When he finally stops, he clears his throat, but not in a nervous way, he's just tired, I guess and I finally look up only to realize he is as staring right at me. He wasn't smirking nor was he judging me in any way-there was light in his green eyes, kindness.

"Here you go now" he said barely audible "You should change that and throw it over there" I don't look away from him though "Get ready, they'll probably call us in soon."

I'm ashamed but my thoughts are back to the boy lying in his own blood.

"Do you know what happened to him?" I ask all of a sudden while he goes behind me so calmly, as if we were never even that close to each other, as if this wasn't a big deal at all and he was simply being a good person. Why couldn't I understand that?

"What happens to many boys out there in this neighborhood" he starts unbuttoning his shirt, in order to throw it in the bin full of dirty uniforms behind him.

I'm looking at his tired face from the mirror and I can't for the life of me figure out how old and wise he looks right now

"He got himself in trouble with the wrong people." the white t-shirt underneath the light blue shirt seems too tight for him and only now do I realize he looks even stronger and bigger than before

"What?" he looks up confused "Now you're interested in the things that happen to all the people living outside of your perfect bubble, huh?" he isn't really trying to fight, he sounds sincere and that's why it hurts so much "There's a whole life out there you'll know nothing about, Gilbert. It's better off like this."

He suddenly gets me angry-though deep down I realize I'm mad at no one but myself-he saw me weak and he can use it against me, he already is.

"I don't care at all about him. I just felt sick from your awful driving" I say through teeth and watch him finally throw the shirt away and put his driver's jacket back on. He laughs out.

"Yeah, right." he shakes his head knowingly "Don't worry, beauty queen, I won't tell anyone you got scared. Just get yourself together cause there are people out there counting on your help. he says still with this kind warm voice, he's not judging me in any way, even if he's using all those snarky nicknames.

"I'm fine." I continue in the same stubborn way

"Good" he shrugs his shoulders once again "Let it be your way. But tell me, Gilbert, just how are you going to become good at this if you can't even admit your weaknesses to yourself?" he arches his right eyebrow and in this moment I swear to God, I want to punch him, though he's nothing but honest with me

"Take this advice from the poor stupid boy, yeah?" he finally figures he should leave, but there's this fire burning up inside me-I want to humiliate him, to make him feel weak, just like I did minutes ago

"What do you want from me? Why are you doing all this?" I ask and feel surprised by the words coming out my mouth

"I'm not doing anything" he pushes away from me and furrows his eyebrows "God, why can't someone do something nice for you people without you thinking I want something? You know what-go to hell."

"No, _you_ go to hell. You think you can lecture me?" I laugh out bravely, I'm no longer trembling, no longer scared

"You're nothing but a simple ambulance driver without education and any possible future at all. Look at yourself" I stretch my hand and he looks at his dirty shirt, his shabby jeans, too big even for him "You're invisible, no one will notice you in this world, you won't be anything but just another ordinary person filling in for someone else, so keep your precious advice for someone else from your neighborhood-seems like they can use it." now he was furious as well, but I didn't wait for him to respond. Instead, I rushed through the doors and left him there wondering what on earth has just happened.

I don't know why I was like this. I guess deep down I was realizing he hasn't done anything wrong, but my pride wouldn't allow me to ever admit this.

I kept feeling awful for the rest of this shift I spent with the three of them. He couldn't stand me-I could sense it, but he had no choice and instead of noticing every angry look he threw at me, I focused on work and gathered myself together.

He didn't say a word out, he didn't even respond to Trevor and Henry's question so they figured he's just tired, but he wasn't-he just couldn't wait to get away from here.

At midnight their shift was over. I didn't make the last round with them-Trevor said, I looked too tired so he let me go earlier. The last I saw of Stefan was him drinking yet another cup of coffee in the parking lot, leaning on the ambulance-my father passed by him while driving us home, but he didn't or didn't want to notice us.

Darkness surrounded him and the only light was coming from the exit behind him. Out of some reason, I thought of the first time I met him back when he was trying to steal my car and I realized, I was still that confused about him as I was before.

My father asked me why I was looking back while he drove away.

I had to lie to him.

**Stefan's POV **

I had less than an hour to get to the warehouse where I was supposed to play my first match against someone I didn't know. Lexi has done the laundry and handed me a really nice blue ironed t-shirt, my brother gave me his trainers for the game tonight and was holding Joe right behind us, on the rocking chair, trying to make him fall asleep.

We weren't talking. There wasn't anything much we could say.

Things went exactly as Enzo has supposed-a few of Avery's guys found me after work and made their threats that I had to pay the debt or otherwise bad things would start happening. Instead, I did what I was supposed to-I told them I could fight for their boss, since I knew he was looking for new guys to perform enough entertainment for him so money could flow and they said they will contact me.

They did so two days after that encounter, just a few corners from our house.

I had no other choice but to start training all over again-I began getting up early, so I could run for at least an hour and a half, just like when I was doing while playing for the school team. Damon was there for me those past few weeks-he helped me prepare and we would fight till dark in the backyard after both of us were done with work.

Lexi would hold Joe and stare at us from the back porch and shake her head in despair or just handed us water.

Damon didn't like this whole thing at all-he's been very tense lately, though I suppose part of it is because Bonnie was back in town. He was spending all his time with me and my son-probably trying to drown himself in other stuff and not think of her. When he wasn't helping me, he was drinking and a couple of times I took the bourbon away from him which caused us to fight, but we were all good on the next morning, because he was realizing we're both on edge.

He was a ball of nerves these past few days though. Enzo paid us another visit yesterday in order to give me a few last orders and enlighten me about what I might see there, not that I was listening very carefully to him, simply because I wanted to punch him in the face.

He said it's better if I win my first game, because they won't take all the new guys that go to this place tonight, so I was a bit nervous as well last night, but now for some reason all of this has passed-I as indifferent to it and I had this urge inside me to fight-I had too much going on lately.

I was extremely pissed off when I came home from work last night-Elena has drove me insane with her awful attitude and I went straight to bed after feeding Joe, which made even my brother suspicious-I couldn't catch sleep at all that night-I either had nightmares or I thought of how I'll deal with working alongside Elena for another week or more.

I tried not to think of her as I exchanged last few words with my brother who send me with his heavy tearful eyes and observed me from the front porch-he was scared. I understood him. If the situations were reversed, I wouldn't ever let him go to this place-it's just now we didn't really have any choice-I needed my son and he needed me. I couldn't reverse things-if I could, I would never even think of stealing Gilbert's car, I wouldn't have gone behind bars, I wouldn't have met Enzo once again and he wouldn't have used me.

I shook my head, trying hard not to come back to all this and I waved at Lexi who was staring from the window while holding my son-she's been too good with me lately. I needed to gain more weight in the past two weeks so she practically filled our refrigeration for a whole year-it turned out I've lost too much weight after Rebekah died and I refused to accept it was because I've drank so much the months after I lost her. I simply..didn't want to admit that I've got any weaker. Damon kept assuring me I'm doing fine, but I knew I'll need some time to get in shape, I was just hoping things go smoothly tonight.

When I got there one of Avery's gorilla bodyguards, who was among those who came to threaten me the first time, lead me inside and guided me to a very dark hallway, leading somewhere underground. I couldn't catch a good glimpse of what exactly the place looked like, but there were already too many people here. I doubted I'll ever get any close to Avery at all, though Enzo wasn't really expecting me to do so-he just wanted me to pay attention and listen carefully to what his next plans were supposed to be, so he could catch him one day.

And honestly _one day_ was too much of a vague phrase for me.

I've been waiting for this _one day_, my whole life-for the day we won't be struggling, for the day Rebekah could be with me, for the day I could provide everything my son needs-that day never came.

I don't suppose it ever will, nor do I believe Enzo will catch John Avery.

The guard pointed to a door at the end of the hallway and disappeared in the other direction. When I got in, it turned out to be a locker where a bunch of guys were getting ready for their games. I didn't know exactly what I should do so I just headed to one of the empty benches at the corner of this awfully big room and opened up my bag, so I could change.

"Hey! Are you one of the new recruitments?" I heard a man's voice coming from behind me and when I finally turned, I saw a guy in his mid-thirties, dressed in jeans and white shirt, smile at me kindly. I nodded, still feeling out of place and he looked down at the list he was holding "I'm Alaric."

"Stefan" I said in a friendly manner, not that I thought anything here could be good at all. I was just trying to focus on the fact that they could take away my child and I simply would never allow this, so I had to be here and play nice, no matter what.

"Hey, Stefan" he was somehow pleased with me and he threw me a surprised look, which made me feel awkward "Forgive me, you're just the only one who seems can fight at all from all the new guys I saw tonight." he shrugged his shoulders apologetically "Anyway, I'll be helping you out, okay?" I nodded understandingly, still not speaking up

"Wow, you're a silent one" he noted and looked down at the list he was holding "Listen up, you have to get ready, you'll be fighting with a guy they call the Hammer."

"That sounds good" I laughed nervously

"Don't underestimate him, he's stronger than you." he began explaining while I was changing "The rules here aren't exactly like anything you've seen before, okay?"

"Let me guess-I can do whatever I want and I won't get punished in any way?" I tried to guess and he nodded while he watched me put on my old brother's trainers and furrowed his eyebrows but still didn't say anything.

Lexi has given me her brother's black gloves, since mine were too old and shabby and I wore dark blue shorts, which once upon a time my brother used to train with.

Alaric was nice to me-he explained everything-said there wasn't much I need to know, just fight as good as I can and in the end Avery would pick three guys to continue with this whole charade. I don't know why he was here, but I assumed it wasn't because he really wanted it. For some reason, he felt bad for me. I don't know if it was because I looked like a homeless guy who didn't have good gloves and shoes or because he realized I didn't really have a choice here as well-whatever it was, he was the first nice person I met here. He was quite busy though-he was running up and down the hallway making sure the bets are all set and the players are ready to start.

Then we got upstairs and Alaric lead us to the front, where I could see the relatively big ring where two of the guys were already preparing to start playing.

"You'll be from the last ones okay?" Alaric explained as he sat beside me, getting himself ready to start watching as he explained who the players were.

Honestly, he was right when he said the other new guys weren't that strong or experienced, there were only two other boys who I assumed could make it at the end, though that didn't make me feel any better-I still wasn't sure what would happen.

Alaric told me John Avery's son-Tom picked up the players for each game and he liked to fool around with people and watch them suffer. He was a boxer himself and Alaric showed me the place where all the important people sat, which was on the front row, opposite from us.

John Avery was nothing like what I was remember-he has got even bigger and has definitely gained weight and there was this evilness in his eyes, they were cold and his whole posture was scary. Even his son, who honestly appeared to be quite strong as well, didn't appear to be so dark or scary-there was something strange in his look though, he reminded me of a psycho of some kind. I've seen this boy before, I remember him from when I used to play on the courts in our neighborhood, but I've never really talked to him and honestly-I had no intentions of doing so. From everything Alaric told me, I could only conclude he's trying very hard to prove to his father he's good at something. I understood we'll be seeing him fight last-he always won at those games and sometimes he deliberately picked up his opponents only so he could beat them almost to death and leave them barely breathing on the ring.

I was hoping he never gets to pick me.

I watched probably five games before it was my turn. What I noticed was that there weren't really any rules. There was a referee or more like a parody of one, who only got to tear the guys apart every once in a while when things got way too heated and he didn't want someone to drop dead there since it would cause problems. Judging by what I saw no one was playing fair and by the time I had to get out on the ring I was wondering if I'll get out of here alive at all.

Still, I wasn't trembling, I might've been afraid, scared, terrified even, but I was trying hard to get myself together. Alaric decided I was tough enough to withstand this whole charade and even send me all the way to the ring, said if I need any medical help later, he'll do everything he can and I asked myself why on earth did I even agreed to be here?

_The Hammer_ turned out to be a pretty strong guy-twice my size and as I said one last pray, I got up there, hoping I would get to see my son once again after this night was over.

That's all I wanted. To hold him in my arms again, to be with him, to feel him juggling in my arms, his toothless smile making us all laugh.

God, that's all I wished for.

And I guess that's what motivated me to start fighting like hell-I could lose myself, I was not afraid of that, but I couldn't lose him. I had to fight for him.

So when the first punch came, I hit twice as hard.

I leaned down, I turned, I twisted, I hit him and he hit me, my ribs were sore, my face was red, my right eye swell after he pinned me to one of the corners and hit me continuously for more than a minute.

I was breathless.

I felt weak.

But the only people I could see in front of my eyes were either Joseph or Rebekah and I knew well enough the love of my life was far gone.

People around us were shouting, I don't know why, but it seemed louder than before. Was it because they were laughing at my attempts to fight this guy or was it because he was going to crush me?

My hands hurt. And I realized there was something in his gloves, because when he was hitting me in the ribs, he didn't make only bruises, he tore my skin apart and it hurt like hell.

Yet I didn't want to give up. I could hear Alaric yelling at me to stop fighting and just let him beat me in one of the short pauses when I could catch my breath, but I just shook my head.

I didn't come to lose. I wasn't here because I wanted, but I still had to do whatever I could. There were things more important than me or my physical condition and that was my son.

I don't know why but while this guy was beating the hell out of me and I continued trying to hurt him in every possible way, something in which I was slowly getting better at as time passed, I could only think of how Damon thought me to fight when I was still a twelve year old kid and he has just got me out of the system. Somehow deep down I realized this was nothing like the innocent games we played back then, yet I preferred to live in oblivion and focus instead of staring at this guy's dark brown eyes, which were just as cold as Elena's from yesterday.

He made his last big punch when I wasn't expecting at all and I ended up on the floor, listening to the referee counting to ten and then the whole place bursting out in yells. I couldn't distinguish a word out, I wasn't really trying to-I felt so bad, I thought I'll lose consciousness and I'll make a fool of myself, but then someone's hands grabbed me and helped me raise up.

At first I didn't know who it was, nor was I even trying to turn around and look-I doubt I could see anything with my right eye swollen so much already. I felt sick, my head was spinning, there was blood coming somewhere from my face cause I could see drops falling on Damon's trainers.

"You're okay" I distinguished Alaric's voice and I realized he must've been the one leading me out of here and taking me back to the dark hallways. "Jesus, Stefan, I thought you were tough but I had no idea you could pull this up."

"What?" I asked and I started coughing, my own blood coming out of my mouth. I hoped I could clean myself up before getting home or else Damon would make a fuss out of this and we won't sleep for yet another night.

"You blew everyone away!" Alaric said cheerfully as he helped me sit down on one of the wooden benches and handed me a bottle of water which I couldn't even open with my gloves still on.

"I lost." I concluded, after I finally got some water and made him splash the rest of it on my face. Everything around me was black, I felt like I was about to end up on the floor for yet another time today.

"You did" he confirmed "But everyone loved you. You fought like hell, you caught Tom's attention. He'll want you in, I'm sure of it." he patted me on the back and threw a clean shirt in my direction "Good job." he added as he left me alone, excusing that he needs to get upstairs and clear up some things with the Avery's as well as help the last guy for his game.

I lay down on the bench-I couldn't feel my hands. I tried to clench my fists, but I couldn't, I could feel my face swallowing, my whole right side hurt. I don't know why, but for some reason I was relieved.

I smiled.

Then I felt the tears rushing down my face, mixing up with the blood coming from my nose.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thank you all for the nice reviews. I guess I should clear some things out-Elena won't find right away he has a kid, nor will he get himself out of this mess with John Avery soon. Things will get get complicated but they'll be all connected in a way. Also there will be time jumps in this story, not right now and not right away, but there will be a point where I'll jump, we're far from it for now though. For the Bamon lovers-sorry there wasn't any of them in this chapter, I'll probably write for them in the next one. I didn't even know there were Bamonators out here reading me, so excuse me for the lack of those two here. If you have any questions, you can find me on twitter- Flowing_lantern.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Stefan's POV**

I was clenching my jaw really hard while Lexi was cleaning up my face from all the blood and my brother was hovering around us worriedly handing her things with his free hand-Joe in his other one, observing us curiously and with a big smile on his face.

I'm not sure he was able to recognize me with my face all messed up.

"Every time!" Damon yells at me "You're gonna be coming home like this every damn time? Stefan, this is insane!"

"Ouch, Lexi!" I finally give up because it hurts so much when she puts some pressure on my busted cheek

"Don't ouch me!" she's angry as well. They both are.

By the time I got home it was almost dawn. It's not like I did anything of much importance back at the warehouse. I spent most of the time trying to get myself together and stand up, which took me more than I imagined-I've forgotten what it was like to get my ass kicked. And then Alaric, he took me upstairs again where Tom and John Avery were waiting for all of us, who played tonight, to line up in front of them. I felt really weird for some reason. I didn't like being told what to do and this was exactly what's been happening in the past month.

We were about ten boys, not more and honestly-the better part of them looked like they can't stand on their feet at all. And here I thought I looked bad! When we got there, the Avery's were discussing what to do with us, obviously. The whole place was cleared-there wasn't a single person anymore and I remember Alaric telling me that people either leave or moved upstairs to party after those things were over with, so no one would suspect anything when so much noise has been made.

After they picked the first boy I felt this pit in my stomach, even though Alaric was smiling approvingly right at me.

I was last one to be chosen. Tom Avery approached me with a big smirk on his face, commenting on how good and tough I looked and then he punched me in the ribs for some reason, probably trying to prove that even despite that he's better than me. Then he said he'll be watching me, which wasn't something I particularly enjoyed or looked forward to. This boy had some crazy light in his eyes-it felt like he lives to torture people and if he wasn't tired or less drunk that night he might've just picked up a fight with me for his own entertainment. He was tall, quite strong and his piercing blue eyes were full of nothing but hatred and pride.

He pushed the weakest boy on the ground and kicked him repeatedly on the stomach. Alaric saw me wanting to stop him, but with a single look, he made me stay right where I was. And I felt bad. I felt awful to be honest. It was like a punishment for us all, but also an example of what will happen if we, who were chosen to continue, do not obey to their rules. They made it clear we all owed them something so basically, after tonight, we were their property.

And that pissed me off.

All that time while we were watching him beat the hell out of this boy, who was I think, only a year older than me and lived about two blocks away from our house, I wanted to do the same to him. I've never burned with so much hatred inside. I almost shivered from the thoughts in my own head. After a while Alaric stopped him and the only thing echoing in the damn warehouse were the boy's whimpers.

I don't know what happened to him after that-I wanted to take him with me and drive him to the hospital, but I never saw him after they pushed us all back to the lockers and John Avery left his son to continue with the threats from earlier-he was walking around the room like he owns it and as if he could define each and every one of us. But I knew well enough he can't do anything like this to me-I wouldn't allow it. Then I remembered I let all of this happen, so I felt like I'm nothing like the guy I was supposed to be and I almost lost myself on the way home since my head was full of thoughts and I was having a hard time actually seeing what was going on in front of me since my right eye has swollen and I begged for it to be better by the time I have to get to work.

"If you didn't look like hell, I would be kicking your ass right now" Lexi continued angrily and I pulled away from her, trying to deal with the pain on my own, but she only sighed and went to the fridge for ice.

"So will you tell me what happened?" Damon continued angrily and raised his voice which disturbed Joe and he looked at me scared.

"No." I stated dryly and stood up to take my son from his embrace. The kid was smart, he knew I was hurting and he gripped my bloody shirt with his little hands. "I told you, I don't want to put any of you in danger, so I won't be telling you anything."

"You can't hide things from us" Lexi argued and picked up my chin only so she would press the ice on my swollen eye. I grunted unpleasantly, but she didn't let me go

"I am holding my son, will you let me go?" I was getting angry and watched as her and my brother yelled at me for yet another time this morning.

Joseph started crying and I pulled away from Lexi, so I could calm him down.

"It's okay, buddy! It's all fine" I whispered in his ear and he leaned his beautiful blond hair on my chest.

I gave both my brother and Lexi and angry look, but Damon's been pissed off ever since I came back this morning, so I couldn't do anything to make him understand right now-he grabbed the jacket handing near the back door and left without saying another word, but just slammed the door after him and left Lexi and I alone in the kitchen.

"You really have to stop saying this, is pissing us all off. Nothing's fine-just look at yourself. You can't keep doing this."

"I will. And I'm not having another argument over this, Lexi. I had a rough night, I just want to hold my son and get some rest , okay?" I asked her, my voice breaking a little bit which made her take a step back and give me a sad look. I was having a hard time pulling myself together-the past few weeks were more than awful and I barely got any sleep. To that add the fact that Elena Gilbert was driving me insane at work and everything was getting even better.

"I don't need you and Damon to constantly nag me. I get that you're worried, but I just need you to be there for me and help me get through this, not yell at me about how I'm about to get my ass kicked and leave my son alone in the world."

She sighed and looked away for a minute, which made me feel bad-I shouldn't have said all this. She was doing the best she could and she was taking so much care of Joe. I owed her everything-we're honestly so doomed without her.

I sit down on our old kitchen couch and lean back with my son still in my embrace. He is still holding me that tight and he's actually a bit impatient so I put him down beside me and he starts trying to crawl.

"You're right" I hear her say after a few minutes after she leaves the first-aid kit she brought from her house since we didn't have one, which was ironic, considering I was working as an ambulance driver. "I'm sorry. I guess lately we've all been on edge."

I only nodded slightly and helped Joe stay up. Lately he had this tendency of trying to climb wherever he could. Right now he has put his small hands on my arms and was giggling somewhere behind me. He would usually try to keep himself up for some time but eventually he fell on his butt and we would all burst out laughing. He did this now as well and he was so glad when he saw us all laughing that he joined us. Lexi even make a video with us both on her phone, because she claimed we looked adorable, and well I couldn't help her even if I considered myself to be everything but adorable right now-especially with my bruised face, and my bloody t-shirt. I looked like I've dressed for Halloween.

"Come on" Lexi put her hand on my shoulder "Let's go out, you need some fresh air."

"No" I shook my head "I look like hell, I can't go out" I tried to reason with her, but she was stubborn and she only threw the tallow in my direction and practically kicked me to the bathroom.

Joe didn't want to let me go, so I took him with myself in the bathtub and had some fun with him until the water became too cold and I figured it's time for us to get out. By the time I was almost back to my more presentable appearance and was changing his diapers, Damon came back home with some groceries-he joined Lexi in her decision to take me for a walk, because he said he can't even look at me right now.

I hated what I was doing to him, it wasn't fair. Especially not now when he was on edge because he still hasn't seen or spoken to Bonnie, despite the fact they were practically a neighbor away from each other.

He send me away with angry eyes as he was trying to put Joseph to sleep and seeing them both like this-my brother, the big strong tall guy, dressed in black, with his blue fearless eyes, holding my innocent son who always smiled at his uncle-made me feel a bit better.

At least I knew I wasn't completely alone.

**Damon's POV**

I was taking a nap after I put Joe down when I heard someone stubbornly ringing on our front door. I guess I wasn't able to wake up right away, because Joseph has already heard the noise and has started whining in his crib. I began cursing right away and went to pick him up, so I would calm him down for a moment before opening the door.

"Okay! I'm coming! Jesus, who on earth-" I yelled before finally swinging the door open and losing any ability to speak once I realized who was on the other side.

She hasn't changed much. Actually, she looked just the same as when I last saw her, with the exception that there was some sadness and confusion in her eyes.

I was so stunned that for a moment I swear I was about to drop Joseph on the ground and if it wasn't for his strong grip on my hand to remind me to tighten my embrace around his thin waist, he would've ended up on the ground.

For what seemed like forever we stood there simply staring at each other. I haven't even noticed that I've sheepishly taken a step back once I realized it was her and she was staring right at me, until she realized I was holding a baby and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you doing here?" I finally spoke up, after I've found the strength inside me to do so. I was rough, I wanted to hurt her, to make her feel the pain that I did. I wanted her to realize she can't leave for almost two years and come back like this, looking at me in this judgy way as if I've done something wrong when she was the one who left me behind.

The minute I saw her, the wound inside me, that I thought was long gone, began bleeding. I didn't need much-she used to be my whole life, she was the only love I had in my poor miserable life and then she ripped my heart in two and didn't even think twice. Now she looked so small and sad, so broken in a way-but I was broken as well and while I was, the only person next to me was my brother, not her.

She does not deserve me anymore.

"I came to see you" she said simply and I feel myself burning from the inside with hatred_. To see me? _I almost want to laugh-she didn't give a damn about me for such a long time and now she comes knocking out of nowhere on our door, with this pitiful puppy eyes and she says she came to see me? How thoughtful of her!

"Can I come in?" she asks after I realize I've taken too long to respond and I only simply nod and pull back so she can get in.

I hate her. God, I hate her.

And then again I love her. Still so strong, still with the same passion even if I haven't touched her lips in such a long time and even if that's the only thing I really want to do right now.

But Stefan is right-I can't do this to myself. If I let her anywhere near me again, I will get hurt and this time I won't survive. Both of us have such a bad experience with women that if anything closer to this happens again, we'll fall in such a desperate hole that there will be no getting out of it.

I lead her to the kitchen in silence, though I'm pretty sure she knows the way, or well maybe she forgot it? I can't recall the last time she was here, nor do I want to-it could turn out to be a memory full of love and sweet kisses on the couch and I can't take this right now.

Despite all the negative feelings that I have inside right now, I still pull the chair for her and watch her sit down slowly. Somehow she's not at all that determined anymore-on the contrary, she feels like she's out of place and I can see that.

I don't say anything, I don't ask her if she wants anything to drink-instead I decide to simply take the bourbon out of the cupboard where Stefan thinks he has hidden it from me and sit down opposite from her, still with Joe in my hands. He looks up confused, I guess even he knows I shouldn't be drinking, since I've made a promise to my brother to cut it down. Well I just needed a sip to calm myself, I thought, then I'll leave the bottle away.

We stare at each other first, for what seems a very long moment. Even Joseph is strangely calm in my hands and has leaned back on my stomach, probably feeling sleepy. I don't think that we've been out for more than an hour.

"Is the kid yours?" she asks after she glances down at Joe once again, probably trying to find if he looks like me, though he is indeed a complete copy of my brother. She doubts everything all of a sudden and I laugh out-how could she even judge me? Even if the kid was mine, did she have to start with this question?

I was wrong. The girl I used to love is nowhere to be found in her deep brown watery eyes.

"He's Stefan and Rebekah's." I finally answer with a big smirk as I take another sip from the bourbon and shake my head knowingly. Bonnie seems even more lost now. I guess she can't believe my brother became a father before me.

"She got pregnant after you left." I explain seeing the confused expression on her face.

"He's beautiful" she says after a short moment, which she needed to process it all. She can't really ask me all about it, it's not why she's here and she's just prolonging the inevitable, I know it.

"Where are they? Why are you taking care of him?" so many questions, I think, and yet she's not anywhere near close to explain why she herself is here in the first place.

She went away-maybe she got together with another guy, maybe she had a relationship? How would I know? How does she know I wasn't with someone else all this time when I was drowning in my sorrow and despair? When my brother had to come pick me up from the floor every other night when all he needed was consolation himself, when the child in my hands was hungry in the middle of the night and he had to pick him up and feed him despite the fact that he has worked all day long.

"Stefan's out with Lexi" I comment and look away before speaking up again, since I know the words I'm about to say will affect her "And Rebekah's dead." her eyes open wide up and I can see how surprised she is. She doesn't even want to believe it-she wasn't a big fan of Rebekah, but they understood each other and I often caught them talking in the kitchen or the backyard when we were having dinner all together. They had this connection-it was a special one, they were different kind of friends and I liked that they were on good terms even if they tend to disagree on some matters.

However, that was before. Now Rebekah was gone, my brother was ruined and left with a seven-month-old kid to take care of and I was all alone, ruined by love, drowning myself in alcohol whenever I could, so I wouldn't have to think about how screwed up everything was.

"What are you really doing here?" it was my turn to ask and I feel Joe shifting in my hands so I stand up in order to put him in his crib and leave him playing with his toys-I'm afraid I'll tighten my grip too hard and hurt him or yell so loud that I might scare him, so I decide it's better he's away from this battlefield of emotions.

"Why did you come?"

She bows her head down and buries her right hand in her curly messy hair-I've never seen her so desperate and confused. I think she's still trying to process the information about Rebekah, so I give her a few minutes though I'm secretly dying myself and I can't find strength in myself so I could make myself stop staring at her the way I did when she was mine.

"I wanted to apologize." she starts slowly, silently, I even doubt myself if I've heard her good

I laugh out loud and even Joseph turns towards me from the crib, wondering what's so funny. If only he knew, how much I'm bleeding from the inside, he wouldn't have been even half as curious.

"To apologize?" I stood up angrily "The time for this is long gone, sweetheart." I take another sip from the bottle and I feel myself starting to get slowly drunk.

"Damon-" she starts warningly. She doesn't have the right to talk to me like this anymore. It's over, it's done-she's nothing to me, she's not my girlfriend, she never got to be my fiancée, she's just some girl I used to know, a girl I loved.

"Don't! I don't want to hear it" I interrupt her without really considering how much I'm hurting her. There are tears escaping her eyes, but then again, sadness made her even more beautiful so deep down even if I'm regretting it, I'm also rediscovering her and her whole human being.

"You left, without saying a single goodbye! You can't do that-you can't disappear for almost two years, then come back and say you want to apologize!"

"I'm trying to do something here, Damon!" she yells out in desperation almost scaring Joe who's no longer that sleepy and instead is staring at me from his crib, waiting for me to go pick him up, but I can't. I'm afraid I won't have the strength to even go there-I feel so broken, yet I'm trying so hard to get myself together, because I don't want her to see me weak.

I hate her seeing me weak.

"I don't want you to try! Do you think I don't know what you're about to say-that we could be friends? That it can be all like before even if we're no longer together? It's over." she looked away again and that's how I knew I wasn't wrong. That's why she came. She didn't feel love for me, not in the romantic way at least

"It's been over for such a long time." I conclude and her eyes go wide, I feel like she's realizing it as well, right at this moment. It's like she hasn't given it much thought up until now, but I had-I was the one who had to stay here and try to move on for the sake of everyone around me.

"I went through hell, Bonnie" I say seriously and for the first time tonight I'm honest with her.

"I'm so sorry!" she says desperately "I only wanted to-"

"Sorry doesn't fix things. Not this time." I respond silently, not mad anymore. I'm hurt now-it's so hard to see her right before me and not being able to kiss her, have her in my embrace, lips her up and carry her to my bed

"You should go." I cut her off just as I hear the front door open and I'm sure it must be Lexi and Stefan, since I can hear my best friend's brother cheerful voice.

Bonnie brushes the tears from her cheeks away and I remember, how this used to be my job.

Now she's all alone. And so am I.

She disappears from my sight and I hear her rushing through the living room, most probably leaving my brother and Lexi stunned. And then she slams the front door, which makes me smile, because she was always such a strong person yet she appeared to be so vulnerable. I could never comprehend where she got her strength from, but she was a different kind of girl.

One that left too many scars on me. More than the ones my brother had from last night-these were painful and invincible.

When Stefan gets inside he throws me a worried and pitiful look and that pushes me to grab the bottle and hurry to leave for my room, since I don't have to take care of the kid anymore.

"Damon!" he says warningly and glances at the bourbon in my hand, though I know right now that's not his biggest problem-it's the fact that he realizes I'm hurt and he desperately wants to do something about it, but he knows he just can't.

"Drop it, Stefan" I say and avoid looking at his bruised face. He looks so bad that I want to kick his ass myself, yet he's trying to act like the older brother now, he's scared of what Bonnie's presence here could do to me, that's why he shut the door to her the first time-he didn't want her anywhere near us, because he realized it will simply bring me to an edge.

I try to leave again, but then he grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him. I'm staring at his left green eye, since the other one is too swollen for him to open it up, his face is stern, even if half of it is practically red from all the bruises. I wonder how he'll sleep tonight.

"Don't run away!" he says, because he knows that's what I'm doing. The thing is, that I don't want to talk about it and I'm also not sure if I even can, just like he starts slightly trembling when someone mentions Rebekah and clenches his jaw, trying to prevent the tears from falling.

"Now is not the time to cross me, Stefan" I say determined to get away from him and I hear him sigh. He doesn't want to give up right now, but I guess he realizes it's better he left me alone for a moment so I can get drunk and forget this whole thing ever happened since I know I'll have to teach myself once again tomorrow how to live without her.

He lets me go unwillingly and I leave so I could drown myself in alcohol and push all the thoughts about the girl I love, away.

I hear him talking to Joseph in the kitchen, feeding him, having dinner all by himself since Lexi must've left for work.

We're both so lonely and hurt that when I decide to let my anger out by hitting the wall with my bare hands, he hears me, but doesn't come to stop me.

It's what he did after Rebekah died as well. When we hurt, we literally bled. Somehow we both needed real proof that we're still human and that we are consisting of something more than just pain, sadness and despair.

**Stefan's POV**

Watching Damon like this hurts me more than I want to admit. In moments like this, I know that I'm supposed to be the stronger one, but right now, I'm more lost than I've ever been. I'm scared for him, that's why I didn't want him to see her in the first place, though I guess, I knew this was inevitable, it's just that I didn't suppose it would happen this afternoon-it came all of a sudden to me.

When I heard him banging on the wall, I came by his room and was on the verge of bursting in and giving him a big speech, but when I heard him cry, I figured it's better to leave him alone right now. Most of all, Damon hated someone seeing him cry-if I did, I'm pretty sure we would get in a fight and right now I couldn't even clench my fists. I was wondering if when I go to work tomorrow I'll get some kind of scolding from the chief-it's the last thing I needed right now.

I put Joe to sleep and turn on the TV so I could watch the game tonight, not that I was paying much attention to it. I felt so desperate and above all tired that I was considering whether or not to grab at least a beer myself, since the kid was already asleep and wouldn't wake up for at least after midnight.

I was surprised for a moment when I heard someone ring on the front door and almost got sick of it all, until I remembered that Henry promised me he'll come to give me my paycheck and some other stuff. I guess he knew how much I needed it right now so he promised they'll stop by when they're shift's going to an end.

At least there's gonna be one good thing tonight.

Or so I thought until I opened up and realized Henry wasn't alone.

**Elena's POV**

I really wasn't eager when Trevor and Henry mentioned we have to pass by Stefan's house and give him the paycheck and some medical supplies he has asked for, but I couldn't exactly say I don't want to get there since it would make them suspicious, not that they didn't know we obviously hate each other by that time.

Trevor had to stay in the ambulance since he felt too sleepy and needed a few minutes to rest before we got back to the hospital and the driver has went by the coffee shop around the corner because he was in desperate need of caffeine, like the rest of us. Henry asked me to come help him with this box of supplies Stefan has asked for and when we ended up on the ruined front porch, which was too familiar for me, I realized that I was for some reason I'm feeling just when I did back then-full of hatred towards the person living inside.

When he opened the door, however, I immediately felt guilty for cursing him on our way here. Half his face was bruised and his right eye wasn't even opened, when he put his hand on the door post, I realized his knuckles were bloody-he seemed like someone has just kicked his ass and left him bleeding somewhere.

I guess at first he has forgotten that he looks like someone used him for a punching bag, but when Henry's jaw hung open in both confusion and worry he realized what has provoked his friend's expression he looked away uncomfortably, not really paying much attention to me.

"Stefan! What the hell happened?" Henry began sounding too worried. He was a guy who didn't usually get scared, after all, he was dealing with injured people every day, still somehow, seeing a seventeen year old boy look like hell was troubling him more than even he himself wanted.

"It's fine, I just fell down the stairs" he hurried to respond, his voice sounding way too harsh. He was avoiding looking at me, but when I practically shoved the box I was holding in his hands, he furrowed his eyebrow. I guess now all those medical supplies made sense-he could use a few stiches if you ask me, though I knew he would turn down my offer, not that I was in any rush to suggest it.

"You don't have any stairs" I said in the same snarky way that I always used with him. It was true though-it was a one-floor house, with no more than four rooms. He grunted unpleasantly and asked Henry for the paycheck. However instead of handing him the envelope he grabbed his wrist and pulled him outside, trying to get a better look at his face.

"You should come to the hospital with us."

"It's nothing." Stefan pushed away

"Leave him be, Henry" I began and I felt he was getting angry with my presence as well. I also noticed he never invited us in, just like the last time, he was standing right at the entrance, leaning on the door post, as if he was trying to protect something inside

"You can't deny that he looks better this way." I smiled and he grunted unpleasantly, but Henry was nowhere near laughing-he seemed angry now and he wanted to talk about what happened.

"Very funny, Gilbert" he responded, I could sense the spite in his voice "I can't seem to be able to see the vomit on your shirt today or did you suddenly got brave out of nowhere and remembered you can't fear blood if you're going to be a doctor?"

"The only reason you can't see it, is because of your swollen face, which is right now bigger than your ego. Who did you fight for? That pathetic big brother of yours or some girl you screwed the other night?

"Watch your tone, Gilbert." he said defensively. I knew I would hit his blind spot by mentioning his brother. I was so full of spite and hatred towards him that I'm not sure I would feel any mercy towards him even if he was bleeding on the porch in front of us.

I was honestly glad that someone beat the hell out him-he deserved it for being so cocky and selfish. I'm happy someone put him in his place. I was in no way looking for a way to help him-I wanted him to be in pain, and even if that was cruel, it didn't change the fact how I felt.

He saw me weak, now the situation was reversed-he was hurting.

Except I remembered, last time he tried to help me. And I was nowhere near even considering to do that. I still believed he did all this so he could mock me later, not because he really felt bad for me. I wasn't used to people actually caring about me in any way.

"Or what? You'll fight me as well?" I laughed and I felt Henry's judging look on me "I bet I can beat your ass right now."

"Stop it you two!" Henry finally interrupted and I shrugged my shoulders playfully "Stefan, come on, let me at least look at it, you might need stiches."

"I'm fine." he repeated once again "Thanks for coming by. Next time, you can leave Gilbert at the hospital though-it's where her ego shines best, with her daddy close to her so everyone can remember to never top kissing her ass."

I got angry, but Henry grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently, trying to tell me it's time to go. He handed Stefan the money and urged me to go before him. I watched them exchanging a few last words before Henry left, very unwillingly. Stefan sent him away and when he noticed me staring at them, gave me one last knowing smirk, which made me want to really punch him.

I didn't, though, I was far away from him.

Watching him like this from the ambulance, made me realize how in ways, he looks just a little older than my brother and I thought of how pissed off I would be if someone has beaten Jeremy like this and left him on his own, so broken and damaged.

Then I saw him taking a step forward and leaning on one of the posts on the porch. He wasn't watching us anymore-he was deep lost in his thoughts, observing the bright autumn sky and the sunset.

He looked so lonely. It almost made me feel bad for him.

Or maybe I've felt bad for him all this time, it's just that I've chosen to ignore it.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry it took me so much to update, I've been so busy with college that I barely found time to sleep. I know there isn't much progression in this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Happy holidays to you all! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Elena's POV**

Out of nowhere it started snowing.

It surprised us all since we never had snow so early in the winter. If you're asking me, I would say it's pretty much still autumn, but no, when I woke up this morning our yard was full of snow and dad and Jeremy were trying to clean up the garage lane so we can get out for work. I think the only one happy from this would be my brother. He liked snow so much and he often went with his friends to this lake outside town which usually froze and they ice skated on it whenever they could. Dad always scolded him for going up there, he said one day he'll fall in the freezing water and there will be no one to help him-my brother was never much of a swimmer.

I was however, very grumpy and they saw this. Since things at work were going upside down, I've decided that it's time for me to stop caring so much which resulted in me going out more with Caroline and Matt- we went around to various parties where I got drunk.

I could see dad was deeply disappointed in me but he didn't have the guts to scold me. Not with mom calling us and telling him she won't be home till Christmas. I would be surprised if she comes even then. Things in the family weren't good-I had the odd feeling we were falling apart and the more I was trying to push that feeling away, the more it came back and settled deep inside me, only to bug me in the middle of the night.

I was trying so hard to drown everything I was feeling-maybe that's why I was extra mean not only to Jer and my father but to Trevor and Henry and of course Stefan. Stefan, who kept silently accepting all my spiteful words-it's not like we didn't fought. Oh God, we could be so annoying that I kept wondering how are the rest of the staff dealing with us-we were relentless, we hated each other so much.

And despite this, I could not get rid of this moment when he came to clean my face in the bathroom. It felt like I'm not even there, it felt like..he was helping another girl, a better one, a caring one, not this screwed-up version of myself. He kept surprising me with his behavior-one moment he was on edge, arguing with me about how I was a spoiled brat, which he considered his best argument, the next he was putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing it supportively when Henry came by to tell us the boy we tried to save on our first shift together has died. He went into a comma and passed away only a week after that.

I don't know why but I felt sick right there again and I tried very hard not to cry in front of my father's colleagues when I felt his strong grip on my shoulder and his warm breathe whispering in my ear to hold on. It was only for a minute or two before he let me go and went down the hallway himself, leaving me all be, but it was what I needed not to fall apart.

Later on, I found out he knew the kid and their family. I heard him talking to Trevor that he passed by the funeral to pay his respect, which explained why he wasn't at all talkative this day and why he let me bash and threw all my anger from losing this kid on him.

That night after we got home, I called Matt and asked him to pass by-instead he offered me to drive by his house since he was all alone. I went there and we kissed all night long-I was misleading him and I didn't care, because right now I didn't want to be emotionally attached to anyone. I just wanted to stop feeling and push all the loneliness away, so I was willing to give everything I could, but to stop suffering every night I went to bed. I couldn't even sleep normally, no matter how hard I tried. Having Matt by my side or getting drunk help with that, which is why I continued doing it.

Dad managed to finally get us to work and when we ended up on the back entrance where all the cars were parked, I saw Stefan trying to clean the snow away from their ambulance. He didn't acknowledge me in any way and if it wasn't for Trevor and Henry to show up from the entrance with medical supplies in their hands and tell me I better hurry since we had so much work to do, he wouldn't have even turned in my direction. He was still so bruised and battered as if he was having a fight every week which just might've been the case, since I noticed him gripping his side where his ribs were the other day when he was getting in the truck-he most probably hurt and he shouldn't have been if he has just tripped over the stairs as he claimed, more than a week ago-it should've passed by now. Not that it was any of my business.

We had a very busy morning and before I knew, it was noon and we were all exhausted, hungry and beyond all sleepy. Stefan's been a pain in the ass and was driving like crazy which even made Trevor and Henry angry because they began scolding him and he said if they're gonna judge him, they can switch with another driver. We were all on edge, because they've been here since last night, cleaning up ambulances and trying to get to people's houses or to places where accidents happened-things were crazy around here after the snow fell.

We were all peacefully eating our lunch while Trevor was telling a joke to light up the mood when the dispatch on Stefan's radio broke the silence coming from his end of the truck. I couldn't distinguish what they were saying at all, since I was already angry that we'll have to break lunch and God knows when we'll get back to it and was ready to whine and tell them we should let someone else go.

"What is it, Stefan?" Trevor asked since he has left his radio somewhere on the front seat next to him

"Some boy fell in that lake at the edge of town." he yelled from the driver's seat "The ice collapsed and he ended up in the cold water. Should I say we're going or? No one seems willing to take it."

I was about to yell no at him when it hit me. I heard Jeremy talking to his friends this morning, assuring them they'll go there after he's done helping father so they can have some fun, he pointed out the ice is thick since it's so cold outside so it will be save.

"Oh my God!" they all turned towards me, even Stefan who was surprised by the seriousness of my voice "My brother. He goes there all the time. He said he'll be there today."

"Stefan call it in right now" Trevor yelled since he was the one with the fastest reactions of us all. I don't know why, but I stood up worriedly thinking that I have some kind of choice here. All of a sudden all I wanted to do was just jump off this thing and run to this place if I have to, but then I felt Stefan lighting up the truck and before I knew it Henry was pushing me back on the seat.

"It will be fine, Elena." he assured "It might not be your brother at all "he tried to calm me down but I wasn't even listening to him. Stefan was driving like crazy and for the first time in forever I was glad he did, because he wasn't the calm type of guy, he was realistic he knew if Jeremy was the one to have fallen we'll have to hurry even more.

"You don't know that." I said with a shaky voice

"We'll find out soon enough" Stefan yelled from the front seat "Just hold on tight."

"I don't want you to kill us, Stefan" Trevor yelled because he was clearly aware that the roads aren't cleaned up so good and it was still very slippery. We might as well be the ones ending up in some gutter, if he wasn't careful enough.

He didn't respond and I leaned back feeling Henry's hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me down since most probably I was shaking.

I wasn't scared-I was terrified. My brother and my father were my entire family and if anything ever happened to them it would push me to edges unknown even to me.

On the way there, I kept wondering where dad was now-I think he went into surgery before Trevor brought lunch. He wouldn't even know about Jeremy, if it was him there at all, though I wasn't doubting this very much-my brother liked to fool around, his other friends were way more careful than he was, even if they were practically 16 year olds with an odd sense of humor and love for dark comics.

To me it seemed like Stefan took so much to get to the lake but when we finally ended up there Henry scolded him for driving like crazy. I don't think he was listening to his words at all. As soon as the ambulance was parked he jumped off it before even me or the rest of the guys could and approached the lake as fast as he could.

"He just fell through out of nowhere"" one of the boys yelled towards a big whole at the center of the lake. Jeremy wasn't with them and I felt my heart skipping a beat.

They all started talking so fast, it was crazy, I couldn't distinguish their words-my brother was there one moment and then the next he wasn't. How does this even happen?

"How long has he been there?" Trevor asked as we finally approached them. The boy who spoke up-Steven, he recognized me and gave me an apologizing look

"Elena, I'm so sorry we told him to stay close to us, but he wouldn't listen!" I started shaking even more, I didn't know what to do and I kept staring at their blank faces-my brother's two best friends weren't even trying to save him. Henry was somewhere still in the ambulance getting up the supplies and Trevor was next to me but I knew perfectly well he can't get in the cold water-he had some kind of heart condition and if he suddenly threw himself in there, he could've died.

"How long?" Trevor asked again and only now did I realize Stefan was already undressing himself ready to get in there and try to find him "What are you doing, Stefan?"

"You can't get in" he said calmly "And Henry can't swim."

"It's too cold!" Trevor tried to argue

"I'm getting in!" he stated once again and I watched him approach the hole in the middle of the lake. He took a deep breath and jumped right in without thinking too much about it. I yelled his name as I saw him disappear into the water. I don't know what was going on with me, I've never been more scared in my life.

"Elena get away from here right now" Trevor yelled and tried to push me back, but I wouldn't move "Elena!"

"No, my brother's in there!" I could feel the tears coming down my face already "He's taking too long! Why is he taking so long?" I tried to get away from Trevor's grip while in the meantime Henry finally came back and once he realized what was going on he tried to grab my arms and get me to the ambulance.

"Let me GO!" I yelled "Jeremy! JER!"

But it wasn't my brother who came back to the surface, it was Stefan, trying to catch his breath.

"I can't see him!" he yelled at Trevor "I just can't!" he sounded so desperate in this moment that it made me completely lose hope that I'll ever see my brother again.

"Keep searching!" Trevor yelled in his direction and I watched Stefan dive back in.

He realized that if we don't get my brother out of there soon he will die, if he wasn't dead already and Stefan was risking his life himself-the water was too damn cold, that I kept wondering how his heart hasn't stopped working by now. I couldn't even comprehend how he was swimming in there. He took too long and I felt like I was about to collapse any minute now, Trevor was holding me very tight while I was breaking down in his hands and Henry, with his pale face was observing the surface, waiting with the stretcher by his side and the first aid kit for Stefan to show up but he didn't.

"Come on, come on!" Trevor kept whispering and I realized he was worried about Stefan afraid that he won't get out of there as well "Henry call for back up!" he then yelled to his partner and I saw Henry picked up the radio. The two boys, my brother's friend were somewhere behind us, I don't think they even cared to be here anymore-they will most probably disappear once more people show up.

I kept cursing myself for not scolding Jeremy more when it came to this, I kept blaming myself for not taking care of my brother like I should be-dad was so busy and mom was always away, he's the loneliest person I know. He shouldn't be here. Maybe if I was home today, if I was spending time with him, none of this would've happened.

"There you go!" Henry yelled and I stared back at the lake only to realize Stefan's finally out holding a very pale and lifeless boy in his hands. "Come on, Trevor" he yelled and Trevor let me go.

"Stay here!" he ordered because he knew well enough I would want to follow them. I didn't though, I'm not sure I could move at all I was so scared and once I saw Stefan holding Jeremy in his arms and trying to pull him out of the water I was sure there's no way my brother would survive this.

I watched Trevor and Henry pull Jeremy up and rushing him to the shore. Stefan got himself out of the water, without any help, the rest of us were trying to get my brother back to the land of the living.

"Get away from here" Stefan's rough voice echoed around me and he pulled me away from Henry and Trevor who were preforming CPR to Jeremy. He was naked and freezing, but he embraced me in his arms and pulled me away from them all.

"Leave me alone!"

"You can't do anything, Elena" he yelled and dragged me a few meters away "It's all up to them now."

"You don't tell me what I can and can't do, you stupid bastard. That's my brother over there." I was crying and I was trying to get away from him cold hands. There was water coming from him and I soon realized my back is wet because of being pressed to his chest. "This is my BROTHER."

"I'm well aware of that!" he raised his voice as well and I watched as they continued trying to get the water from Jeremy's lungs out without success "It will be fine, just give them a few minutes." he sounded so certain that nothing bad will happen that for a second there I wanted to believe him. But I knew well enough people died and the worst thing in this kind of job was that you had to actually watch them fade away.

"Oh my God, no. No, this isn't happening right now" I felt him wanting to turn me towards him, but I couldn't move so instead he moved before me and gently pulled my head to his chest, trying to hide the picture of my dead brother from me.

In the minute when I thought everything was lost that I heard someone coughing and once I realized it was Jeremy I pushed Stefan away and watched my brother throwing up all the water stuck in his lungs.

I rushed to his side and caught his hand, his eyes were opened and I smiled through tears.

"Elena?" he asked confused with a barely audible voice

"You'll be okay" I assured with a light nod and tried to brush away my tears. He's alive!

My brother's alive.

At the same time the back-up came and Trevor and Henry got my brother in our ambulance, while Stefan remained with the other team so they could help him as well since he was freezing to death and we've all forgotten he spent just as much time in the cold water as my brother. Trevor yelled at the other driver who came to replace Stefan to hurry up and take us to the hospital and then gave me a hand so I can join them in the back. I made it clear that I won't be leaving my brother behind. I kept holding his hand all the way to the hospital.

Before we drove off I saw them covering Stefan up with a blanket and making him get in the ambulance as well even though he was obviously arguing, claiming he's all fine. For a moment our eyes met and I gave him a grateful nod-he has just saved my brother.

And I had no idea why he did that.

**Stefan's POV**

I was honestly freezing and I just wanted to get back home already, but once they drove me back to the hospital they made me stay in so they can examine me. I had to wait for them, though, cause obviously there wasn't anyone free to deal with me right now so I was lying on one of the stretchers in the small rooms close to our lockers, wrapped in a blanket, thinking about how screwed up everything was.

I honestly didn't believe I would be able to get this kid out on time and when I finally found him and realized how lifeless his body feels in my hands, I knew Elena Gilbert was bound to hate me even more now that I wasn't able to save her brother.

I've been feeling so hopeless in the past week after my first fight-everything at home was falling apart and Damon and I were trying hard to make ends meet. Lexi has gone away for a week to visit her brother and without her we were practically starving but that was the least of my problems-Damon's been drinking way too much and I didn't like it one bit. We had a big fight last night about it which resulted in Joe waking up and crying out loud.

I was on the verge of breaking down and this was only the beginning-I had my second fight just the other day and even though I lost again Alaric kept assuring me everything will be alright and that Tom Avery's got his eyes on me. I knew he was impatient though-that's someone I didn't need anyone to tell me. I was just glad that for now Enzo hasn't looked out for me-he knew I'll need some time before I start figuring out what's exactly going on in there and how I can be of any help to him in the first place. I was in such a mess that I couldn't see getting myself out of it. I just had to accept I'm doomed, no matter how hard that was.

I didn't want to think about this. I couldn't-it made my heart clench. Or was it because I felt so cold? I don't know, I just wished to be done with all this and I knew I was nowhere near the end of it.

I jumped surprised when the door opened up and I took a minute to realize it was Elena. I furrowed my eyebrows confused to see her here-I thought she would be spending some time with her brother now that he most probably was awake.

"Hey." she started, her voice so warm that it completely blew me away. She can't be nice with me right now, can she? I watched her approach me slowly, nervously putting her hand behind her ear, staring down at the floor.

"Hey." I responded after a while, still observing her with the same curiosity. I didn't expect her to be here and I knew this would get really awkward in a moment.

"How's you brother?"" I figured I should ask since she didn't make any other attempts to continue the conversation-she seemed so lost in her own mind.

"He's stabilized and they just put him to sleep." she said with a light smile and only now did I realize there were still tears in her eyes "My father's with him." I only nodded understandingly, feeling no need to say anything else and leaned back on the wall which was just as cold as I was. This blanket wasn't enough to make me feel better at all.

"Look, Stefan" she started after a few minutes of complete silence "I don't know why you did what you did, but…thank you."

"Why I did it?" I asked confused as I arched my eyebrow "A sixteen year old was drowning in the cold water, do you really think I would leave them in there? Do I look like such a screwed up person to you?"

"That's not what I meant" she hurried to interrupt me "Is just that you…hate me." she stated trying to get herself together, to make herself appear strong

"When I saw you rushing in there I just couldn't believe you was willing to do something like this for me." she added barely audible, if she was afraid to speak up her thoughts

"I didn't only do it for you, I did it because it was my job." I stated dryly, I don't why she was thinking the world evolved around her-I would do it for anyone.

"I know" she bowed her head down, feeling suddenly embarrassed for some reason and it took me a minute to realize that the drops on the floor were coming down from her eyes. I stood up abruptly and grabbed her hands

"Elena. I-I didn't mean it like that." I staggered, realizing I might've been a bit too harsh on her after she had just seen her brother almost drown to death and watch her shook her head in disagreement, her grip on my hands tightened as well

"No, you're right." she finally looked up and for the first time in forever I realized that there was indeed good in her. She wasn't an emotionless person-there was compassion inside of her, kindness that she was trying to hide with all the strength she had "I'm not a person who deserves this. "

"Elena-" I tried to interrupt her again, feeling more awful than ever.

"Did they examine you already?" she hurried to change the subject. I shook my head and only now did I realize the blanket has fallen off my back and we were standing only a feet away from the stretcher, she was still gripping my wrists as if her life depended on it-she was still nervous and worried

"Okay, then I'll do it."

"I'm fine" I tried to argue with her, but she just pushed me back to the bed and I sat up nervously

"You saved my brother and the least I can do is make sure you won't get pneumonia." I chuckled trying to light up the mood, but something inside me was suffocating me, making it hard for me to breathe and I knew well enough it wasn't because I was feeling cold. It had something do to with the tears in her eyes, which she brushed away as if it was nothing at all and in a minute she was back to her old cold self-the compassionate girl with the sad warm smile has disappeared and this stern in her eyes, this determination that was always present was now back.

"That's new" she stated and at first I was confused until I realized she was talking about the bruise I got from the fight the other day

I looked away uncomfortably and felt her touch on my ribs which caused me to grunt unpleasantly

"It's just form when I fell down the stairs." I said through teeth and heard her chuckle

"Stop fooling me, I know you didn't fall down the stairs" she was back to being mean, I could sense it in her voice, but I could also distinguish something else. Something I wasn't quite sure I wanted to realize that was there-worry.

"And even if for a moment I pretend that you actually did, this one would be from that unfortunate fall" her hand moved to my other side where the old bruise was and I pulled away from her touch-it still hurt too much.

"You mind telling me where you're getting these from?" she asked and this time I was the one to put a wall up and push her away-she was overstepping here.

I caught her hand and removed her from my ribs, even though I admit that I've actually enjoyed her touch.

"I'm fine, thank you." I said through teeth "I think it's time I go home."

She stopped me, pushed me back just as I was about to get up and run away from here. We were again holding each other's hands, staring intensely in one another.

God she was so beautiful. How did I not see it all this time?

"Enjoying the view, Salvatore?" she said teasingly, still not letting go of me

"I hate you, Gilbert" I spoke my thoughts out loud

"I hate you way much more, Salvatore" she responded and I was about to come up with something else when the door opened up and one of the doctors came in with a file in his hands. She immediately pushed away from me but I swear to god that for a moment she was blushing.

I have no idea what exactly happened in this moment while we were staring at each other, but it wasn't like anything I've felt before when we were together. I was usually full of despise towards her, I couldn't stand being around her she drove me insane, and I'm sure she'll continue doing this, but I also realized something else-she was trying very hard to protect herself from something and she was doing a good job in it. I would be lying if I say I wasn't doing the same as well-I hid from people, I avoided them and I can't remember the last time I had a normal conversation with a girl, who wasn't Lexi.

"Hey, Stefan, I'm here to check up on you" the doctor spoke up and Elena nodded understandingly, ready to step aside "You doing alright?"

"He's fine, he's just too full of himself" Elena responded instead of me and headed towards the door

"I'm learning from the best, Gilbert!" she turned around and gave me one of her devil smiles before disappearing behind the door.

I had absolutely no idea what was going on here.


End file.
